#1
I have never felt such joy as today,
Watching, learning, yearning.
But for every happiness there's a price to pay,
For all our time is stolen.

Nothing can compare to this one feeling,
encaptured, haunted, enraptured.
The only thing in life with meaning,
Surrounds you at this moment.

Have you ever felt alone and lost?
Isolated from all you love?
Then you also know that there's a cost,
And nothing lasts forever.

Can you see the waves break the shore?
The glistening sunlight's reflection?
The scent of magic and so much more,
These are the memories that always go on...
Last edited by JacK C at Sep 23, 2008,
#2
I have never felt such joy as today,
Watching, learning, yearning.
this works.
3s are always nice
the last two rhyme.
it helps the rhythm.

But for every happiness there's a price to pay,
For all our time is stolen.

Nothing can compare to this one feeling,
encaptured, haunted, enraptured.
this, not-so-much.
creating a word like encaptured so you can use it as a bookend
is cheesy.
change it to captured,
and move haunted to the beginning
similar to what you have in the first stanza

The only thing in life with meaning,
Surrounds you at this moment.

Have you ever felt alone and lost?
Isolated from all you love?
Then you also know that there's a cost,
And nothing lasts forever.

Can you see the waves break the shore?
The glistening sunlight's reflection?
The scent of magic and so much more,
These are the memories that always go on...


in general, i like this.
it has a comfortable "open" feel to it.
Meadows
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