#1
This is a punk song I'm working on. It's got an operation Ivy sorta feel. Crit 4 Crit

Verse:
I looked into your eyes, but your empty stare shows no signs of life
Your just another victim of the propaganda machine
Blindly following your leadership, like a dog to a bone
Will you ever know how to set your mind free

Chorus: (Gang vocals)
The violence is spreading, the hate is strong
Mindelessly killed for your caltural beliefs
The dream of unity is almost too far gone
Unless we learn to live in solidarity
Respect our caltural diversity
Only then can we rebuild...our shattered society

Verse:
I won't be another ****in' robot, eatin' whatever shit he's fed
Blindly following any path he's led,...end all i got for now
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#2
Quote by Descendent-182
This is a punk song I'm working on. It's got an operation Ivy sorta feel. Crit 4 Crit

Verse:
I looked into your eyes, but your empty stare shows no signs of life
Your just another victim of the propaganda machine
Blindly following your leadership, like a dog to a bone
Will you ever know how to set your mind free

I actually like this verse alot, especially the first line, that one is the most original.Very cool metaphor and imagery there, and a good way of indirectly stating your message. I don't listen to alot of punk, but unfortunately the rest of it seems dangerously close to being overly typical rebellious social commentary, which i think people probably get sick of pretty fast. Also, there's probably a better simile than "like a dog to a bone" that you could use, (maybe something about sheep? actually thats pretty cliche, too, nevermind). Altogether the verse is good, the ideas fit with eachother, the message gets across well and sounds cool and original, just think about replacing some words and phrases with more original or powerful ones.

Chorus: (Gang vocals)
The violence is spreading, the hate is strong
Mindelessly killed for your caltural beliefs
The dream of unity is almost too far gone
Unless we learn to live in solidarity
Respect our caltural diversity
Only then can we rebuild...our shattered society

This seems good, as long as you can fit it with music. The only thing that isn't so great is the cultural diversity and cultural beliefs thing. First of all, the misspelled words are annoying, but thats besides the point. The use of it sounds awkward in the context of the quite strong, simple words in the rest of your chorus, and talking about "respecting cultural diversity" sounds more like motivational seminar bullshit than punk lyrics. If I were you i'd just replace it with some less direct way of putting the same idea. Or even just a different issue altogether, if the cultural diversity thing isn't something you're particularly going for in this song, because it doesn't seem to be.

Verse:
I won't be another ****in' robot, eatin' whatever shit he's fed
Blindly following any path he's led,...end all i got for now


Fed and led is kind of a forced rhyme, and these two lines feel alot less formal and less well thought out than the rest of what you have so far. The robot metaphor could be cool, if you found some way to develop it. There's a problem with the idea of a robot eating something, it doesn't really make sense. "Blindly following any path he's led" is a bit cliche and seems like you only wrote it to rhyme with the first line, or maybe vice versa.

Altogether i like the whole thing so far, it seems pretty cool, and actually i really like the first verse as a whole, there's just some awkwardness with the "dog to a bone" thing and stuff like that. Keep working on it, because it definitely has potential in my opinion, when writing the next verse, make it more like the first one and less like the last two lines you wrote after the chorus, because they don't really fit.

My song is creatively titled Untitled, if you could check it out that would be great, thanks. Good luck with yours.
#3
At times, it resorts to very 'basic-esque' lyrics - this should be the base of a political-styled punk song, not the end result.

Also, it's spelt mindlessly.