#1
tl;dr at bottom
Im going to try to make this as short as possible to explain:

Basically, My mom has a boyfriend (they've been going out for a little over a year now) who lives with us (My mom, my brother, me) The agreement is that my mom pay rent, and utilities, and he pays for food. My mom certainly does her end, but my moms boyfriend (lets call him marty) buys food only for himself, and gets pissed off in anyone touches it. He has all kinds of things for himself (soap, batteries, etc), but uses the families anytime he gets the chance, but wont let anyone use his private stash.
Of course, this leads my mom into having to buy food for the 3 of us, which she does not have enough money for. So she asks to borrow some from him (which he has more than enough of. Hes not rich mind you, but hardly spends any) and he gets all egotistical. He constantly orders my mom around, yells at us if there is a noise louder than a pindrop after 9:00, and sits in moms room (which is pretty much his now) all day, watching TV. I could go on and on, but I'm sure youve heard more that enough.

I want a way to get revenge, but I want it to reflect how greedy he is. any ideas?

PS: Also, anything that will **** up his car also accepted, but sugar in gastank doesnt work, I tried that already

tl;dr: Mom's boyfriends an asshole, give me ideas for revenge
#3
"Snatch his ass up in a bear-trap, leave him hangin so high, no one finds him for days"
"thanks fat abbot"
#4
Give your mom one of those rape protection things that shreds your penis if you try to rape someone and tell here boy friend that your mom says it would be sexy if he just randomly took advantage of her.
#5
Take a dump on his lawn.

Though, if he lives with you, it might not be a very good idea.
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#6
Look at the stuff in his stash, buy at least five things identical in brand, packaging, etc. to the stuff in said stash. Use it all where he can see you or use it all and leave the wrappers lying around.
Film his reaction. Get his stash on film. Establish that he's crazy. YouTube it. He's done for.
#7
Quote by madbasslover
Look at the stuff in his stash, buy at least five things identical in brand, packaging, etc. to the stuff in said stash. Use it all where he can see you or use it all and leave the wrappers lying around.
Film his reaction. Get his stash on film. Establish that he's crazy. YouTube it. He's done for.



1 problem... I don't have a camera
#8
seduce his girlfriend..

edit: or cut the brakes on his car
Last edited by blackflag49 at Sep 23, 2008,
#10
kill your mother. that should hit him emotionally
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#12
screw with the lazy bastards sleep. or, get into a massive fight with him, take one for the team and let him smack you a ripper in the face, and blackmail him for the rest of his life



Sanity is not statistical
#13
Quote by SGibson666
Rape his girlfriend.


...oh wait...



you can tell him you mom is calling him at the basement, lock the basement. give him food once in a while.
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#14
i know a friend who has a very similar problem. It's your mums fault man, she doesn't want to die alone or whatever so she is letting this guy do what he likes.

What I would do is patronise him. make him feel outside the family like he has special needs.
'hey marty, how yooou dooing? want me to get anything from the shop for you? *pats head*
#15
Lick a bunch of Jolly Ranchers and put them on his windshield, he will have to replace it. Bleach in the gas tank will rust it out overnight. Toothpaste can strip paint, or if you want better results, buy lacquer thinner or mineral spirits. Brake fluid works well for that, also.
If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough
#17
convince your mom to break up with him so he'll leave and be out of your life (may require restraining order)
#18
Quote by 777Corey
"Snatch his ass up in a bear-trap, leave him hangin so high, no one finds him for days"
"thanks fat abbot"

Somebody was watching Comedy Central earlier....
Low_End_Rocker has it. F*cking with his sleep is definitely the way to go. Toxic has some good ideas too.
#19
Quote by GaijinFoot
i know a friend who has a very similar problem. It's your mums fault man, she doesn't want to die alone or whatever so she is letting this guy do what he likes.

What I would do is patronise him. make him feel outside the family like he has special needs.
'hey marty, how yooou dooing? want me to get anything from the shop for you? *pats head*


I think this guy's legitimately on to something. Someone like Marty likes to be in control of things, he obviously likes to feel like he's bigger and more important than everyone else.
Being ridiculously kind and caring towards him without blatantly treating him like a baby would drive him crazy and he'd be able to do nothing about it.
#20
Quote by vash_08
put a dildo in his room, and everyone will be like "eww, a dildo"

NO.

Say you found "a strange black thing and it's all wet."
#21
Get a female friend of yours to wear lipstick and kiss a couple of his collars while no one's around. I'm assuming your mother does the laundry. Marty doesn't seem like the type to clean up after himself.
#22
Quote by madbasslover
I think this guy's legitimately on to something. Someone like Marty likes to be in control of things, he obviously likes to feel like he's bigger and more important than everyone else.
Being ridiculously kind and caring towards him without blatantly treating him like a baby would drive him crazy and he'd be able to do nothing about it.


why, thank you.
Actually I've had this talk with my mate, his situation is worse though as has a brother who really is special needs and the boy friend is always trying to one-up him, now the boyfriend is in a wheel chair because his back hurts, though he won't go to the doctors and uses a pc while laying on a mattress on the floor.
Don't get me started on that guy.
#23
put a dollar on a fishing hook, let it sit in the water or your pool, watch as he dives in naked after it and make him chase the....

wait... Nevermind
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#24
Quote by GaijinFoot
why, thank you.
Actually I've had this talk with my mate, his situation is worse though as has a brother who really is special needs and the boy friend is always trying to one-up him, now the boyfriend is in a wheel chair because his back hurts, though he won't go to the doctors and uses a pc while laying on a mattress on the floor.
Don't get me started on that guy.


Fill a spray bottle with hot sauce, spray him in the face, and run up some stairs.
#25
Quote by madbasslover
Fill a spray bottle with hot sauce, spray him in the face, and run up some stairs.

I said set a small fire in the kitchen and watch him run, probably push the mum down to get out.
Hate that guy. He won't get a job, won't go on wealthfare because he has a bad back, won't go to doctors because he knows they'll call bullshit. and he lays on his side with keyboard on a mattress.
if only you could see this guy, it's like being reborn, it's that repulsive
#26
He's in a wheelchair? Take him out for a walk and leave him at the bottom of a massive hill.
#27
man that sucks balls
can you take a punch etc????
cause if soo.
just ****in waste everything he has...eat all his food...etc etc

and **** HIS CAR UP!!!!!!
i want updates
#28
freeze a can of shaving cream for about a week, take it out and break off the metal with a hammer. you should now have a solid block of frozen shaving cream. put this in his car on a warm night, and it wil expand and fill EVERY little nook and cranny in his car.
#29
just do little things to piss him off, like everything in this thread until he just loses his mind and leaves. your mom shouldn't have to deal with a douchebag, no one should. i say we rid the world of the walking waste.
#30
Quote by chilldude
freeze a can of shaving cream for about a week, take it out and break off the metal with a hammer. you should now have a solid block of frozen shaving cream. put this in his car on a warm night, and it wil expand and fill EVERY little nook and cranny in his car.

yer but use like 5-6 cans

even if thats a bit much
it doesnt matter
itll be better
#31
ur like 16 right. kick that bitch's ass. noo need to take that kinda shit from that dude.
just be like, you aint my real dad! and kick him in the junk. problem solved
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#32
Quote by geetar_man0
yer but use like 5-6 cans

even if thats a bit much
it doesnt matter
itll be better

I saw this on Mythbusters. It was like, over a hundred.
#33
Quote by Hawkwing_21
ur like 16 right. kick that bitch's ass. noo need to take that kinda shit from that dude.
just be like, you aint my real dad! and kick him in the junk. problem solved

hahaha I love that
YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!!!
Reminds me of family guy when Jesus said it to Joseph.
#34
mate if you really want revenge, put marbles in his gas tank. they make a shitload of noise when you drive, and there expensive to get out, and there cheap! so its the prefect way to piss people off
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#35
Quote by TheRealBadams
mate if you really want revenge, put marbles in his gas tank. they make a shitload of noise when you drive, and there expensive to get out, and there cheap! so its the prefect way to piss people off


Sugar works better.
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#36
Rape, yeah... I went there....
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#37
Quote by Lucky#Slevin
Rape, yeah... I went there....


sure why not. rape him.
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
I saw Pantera live once, Dime changed into a body bag right there on stage.