#1
I've been having a pretty hard time lately, I'm not too sure what this is actually about, i just kind of wrote down what came out. This is the first time i've posted a piece, so go easy Thanks.

Why give myself up for lost,
When I could leave myself for you?
You can have my soul, and for once,
I want you to change me.
Take away the shell, find me raw,
Bring me back to you,
And find a part of me that life hid away,
A piece that I found buried, but lost in my mind.
If I spend a life searching,
Don’t make me look outside myself.
But let me into you.
You could look right through me,
As tattered as I am.
Just grab my hand, and you’ll know,
It’s only my image.
#2
I definitely like it,
For the most part it has a concrete flow.
It might just be me but line 3/4 slow down the flow abit.

I like the message and I think the ending lines really powerful for that message.

The one line I'm kind of confused with is the line after "If I spend a life searching," the "Don't make me look outside myself.". I think I get what your saying but I think its too I don't know the right word, pessimistic isn't the right word but like too "giving up" ish compared to things like "just grab my hand, and you'll know".
Maybe make it something about looking inside and maybe with a positive or persuasive twist to it?

Keep it up though, I like it
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Quote by shdowfox17
awesome avatar,denn0069!
Quote by Valo
The most truth I've heard in the pit.
ever.
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