#1
Hey there all!
Ryan from IRON DRAGON here, Just letting you know that I have uploaded a new tune for you all to check out!

It is Power/Heavy metal and is Instrumental.

It titled " The Fire Within " - (Sample of the new CD "Open The Gates")

Crits are more than Welcome!!!


NOTE: Recorded with a ZOOM HD16 and a SHURE SM-57 Mic.
GEAR:
SCHECTER "Diamond Series" REVENGER Guitar
VOX AD30VT Amp
ZOOM HD16CD Digital Mulit-Track Recorder
1 SHURE SM-57,1 Audio-Technica AT2035, 1 APEX 435 Mic. & 2 APEX 180 Condencer Mics
Edited with Audacity & Adobe Audition 3
Last edited by starverse at Sep 24, 2008,
#2
Hey dude, thanks for the crit.

I listened to the whole song, there are some good ideas here, and I thought most of the lead work was decent. The drums sound just fine, good levels on the volume. All that said, I think the rhythm needs some work. The riffs aren't bad, but the timing isn't so good. If a lot of the rhythm parts were recorded again and more on time, I think this song would sound much better. I liked the breakdown part near the end.

All that said this isn't a bad effort, but forgive me for saying, this track isn't yet a finished product in my opinion.

Keep playin and practicing!!
#3
hey dude, thanks for your crit

Listening to your song, youve got the idea with the riffs and stuff, but the drums are way off the guitar heehee, if you fixed that itd be alot better :P

And maybe a bit more structure and a rythm track to the solos you done

Thats all really, its not mixed badly at all

#4
Hey, thanks for the crit.

I liked the rhythm riffs very thrash-metal like and aggressive, I also really like the stereo pan effect at 1:00. The speedy leads work very well.

However there is too much editing, try to make it sound like a live performance with very little cutting and fade out.

I really like the ending with the clean guitar panned left and the synth kicking in a 5:14, that was the coolest part of the song, very nice.

Overall you have lots of good ideas, and your technique and style is definitely on the mark.
#5
First off, it's a pretty good piece
Just a few pointers
The drums sounded very thin and a bit more variation in the beats would have been nice (though disregard this as the guitar is my main focus)
As above there's a bit of issues with your timing, and the fade in and outs kinda kill the vibe a bit
The lead was a pretty sloppy in places, a lot sounded like random notes, so a lot of thought need to go into that because without vocals, they're the main standout point of the piece
I did really like the choir part at the end, but it wasn't so much climactic as it kinda just faded out
Look back over your piece and really think about what you're playing, I'd love to hear this when it's done properly, but a good effort overall
ohai little sig.
#6
thanks for the crit man. Everything is pretty good. The timing on the rhythm parts was a little off and other than a little sloppiness on the leads it was pretty good man.
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#7
Thanks for the crit (check back on the thread if you can I had some questions on mics there!)

I'm not convinced the drum track is right for this song, for the whole first minute all I could think was this guitar riff has nothing to do with these drums. It sounds a bit better around 4:15 but overall really just not synchronous in any discernible way.

Song seems to just flat out stop at several points along the song (ie 3:44) and then randomly starts up again... try to keep it flowing.

Liked what you did with the stereo around 1 min, having the riff pan back and forth right to left, pretty neat with headphones

I probably shouldn't bother critting the lead from 1:45 as I don't like speed/shred guitaring or whatever you call it but I will anyways. To me this sounds like completely random thoughtless plinking of strings. There's no melody here or pattern, the notes are almost universally the same speed which is boring even if its fast. I also wasn't convinced the lead was doing anything harmonic with the rhythm - i.e. even being in the same key or using a relevant scale (if that makes sense)... sounded like 2 completely random guitar tracks smashed together.

From 4:15 on I liked the song a lot more, but again I'm all about discernible melodies and at this point the drums go away and you can hear what the guitar is doing without that distraction.

So I would say try a different drum pattern, try to keep the song flowing, and do something more diverse (preferably melodic) with the lead while having it sound "in tune" with what your rhythm guitar is doing.
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#8
Overall I'd say that you're a pretty skilled guitarist. However, the main two problems I see with the song are the timing and the shredding. The timing is off in several parts. As for the shredding, it's cool that you can play really fast but I would try to add more feel to the notes you are playing so it sounds less like a random jumble of notes.

The recording quality is decent. The drums, despite being very simple, matched the song well.

Thanks for taking a look at mine too
#9
thanks for the crit.

i pretty much agree with all that has been said, but i totally see what you're going for and i think that getting a live drummer would suit your music way better, it just seems the drums are in half time to the guitars and cut in and out too much.where i differ is that i like the leads but i think hearing them against such a slow beat is turning a lot of people off to the song... all in all new drums rerecord and repost
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#10
very weird rhythm at the start oO it doesnt fit the drums

the first solo is totally out of time

it gets better at 02:00, but again the leads seem to be totally out of context

around 03:00 it looks like totally non-sense shredding to me :S you need to work on the harmony with the rhythm guitar!

finally at 05:00 i listen to some melody, its good that the drums are gone, because they were playing a different song all the time!

1/5

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=967901
#11
hey, thanks for the crit,
the rhythm needs some work with timing, and maybe work on getting it a littler cleaner played. the lead sounds good but again, work on timing lol otherwise you have some pretty awesome ideas going there, keep it up. i really like the part towards to end with the synth.
keep rockin
#12
like alot of metal bands... you guys just ooze talent.
like you, we differ on musical tastes, but i view your songs as real quality to tell you the truth. that machine gun picking is pretty intense...

but im really not one to critique metal as i dont know much about it. am a big fan of ur music thought - i'll tell you that much...

thanks for the crit and the add...
#13
Sooooooooooo muddy and the timing drives me crazy. Cut your mids. Your "shredding" is aimless hitting of notes.
#14
thanks for the crit man.
the riffs work, but they need some cleaning up, particularly with timing. the drums, although simple, i reckon should be double time to keep up with the riffs :P the solo bits need some more structure and tidying up to make them a bit more memorable, rather than mindless note bashing
#15
Thanks for the crit. Most of what I'm writing has already been written by the guys above. I can hear some very good ideas in this song, there are some nice riffs in there that just need to be in time with the drums. The leads are pretty good as well, they fit the style perfectly, just need brushing up. There’s signs of good creativity when you go into different sections and they tie in pretty neatly. My advice would be don't label this as a finished project, don't sit on it but work on polishing and tightning everything up. You have some great ideas and with the right execution this could be an awesome [and I'm not using that term lightly] track.
"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life.Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life!" ~ Billy Connolly
#16
Hey thanks for the crit.

Now, I just sat through all 6 minutes of this, and I have to say that I didn't like it. Don't take any of this the wrong way; but I feel that while there are a few good ideas here, the timing issues, muddy tone, and random notes for the "solos" thing just rubs me the wrong way. I commend you for taking the step and trying to write music that you can call your own, but perhaps try to polish it up a bit. Take a little more time and get your riffs/solos "cemented" into a nice groove and try recording it again.

Taking the time to get everything well mixed and tight shows pride in ones work. I apologize if this isn't what you were expecting to hear, but I assure you that if you work a little more on these issues (timing, tone, and a little scale/key/theory work with your solos) this song will be much better. Keep on working at it.

cheers!!
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#17
Hey mate thanks for the crit.

Alot of the riffs in this are pretty good.
The drums however are very off time in places & hit and miss in others.
As said before the fade outs really take away from the song if you could think of some transitions the track would flow a lot better.

The guitar tone isnt to my taste but mine isnt either so i cant complain there :P (digital modellers really lack something)

If you could put it all together in guitar pro i would be glad to help you with the drums and transitions as i have 3 weeks off work and nothing to do at all and it would be a nice break from my own material.
#18
Thanks for the crit man!

Anyways, I don't think I have anything to say that wasn't already said. The riffs are nice, and I like 'em nice and rough. However, the drums are not the greatest. You just need to add more variety to the drums. I'm guessing that they're loops, so maybe you can find some other ones.
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?
#19
well so far you have good structure and ideas for the song. as of now I would try and tone down your playing, only to get a little tighter cause I can tell its in your head you just need to get it cleaned up.... your like a replica of kirk hammet just wailing away!!! its good though man i dig this tune!!! try to take a break, it will make for great dynamics (damn i have been saying that a lot lately)

good job!!
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#20
The tone is absolutely disgusting man, what amp are you mic'ing up?? The main riff is alright, but that's about it. I found it to be rather repetative, and the "shredding" mediocre at best. Also, as others have said, the drums are way off.
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