#1
Okay so this is attempt ever at a song, please tell me what you think.
The words in blue are words that I cannot decide if they should be there or not, so please help me out.


Parasite
I exhail with wide perception
My mind races steadily
Thoughts lingering, imprisoned in[side] my mind
[Never/not] to be heard, not one deemed kind

Without reasoning, ignoring all exceptions
Fists turned white, yet resting readily
These actions feed a grudge held unintentionally
Ready to [forever] silence the one that mentions me

I'll draw the line for you to cross
I see in your eyes you desire to bite
And suck till all my blood is lost
It's time to kill this parasite

This thief of my sanity
Turmoil of calamity
This donor of evil has left me sore
So why can't this be how it was before?

How was it before?
A blanket of mystery
Its making no sense to me
How is it supposed to be?
My mind aching, sore
Left alone on the floor
Awaiting eruption
I welcome destruction

I'll draw the line for you to cross
Draw closer as you plan to bite
And suck till all my blood is lost
It's time to kill this parasite

Step across this line
Step across
I'm daring you
Step across
I'm begging you
Step across
Step across
Step across

I'll draw the line for you to cross
Draw closer as you plan to bite
And suck till all my blood is lost
It's time to kill this parasite

Like I said, its my first attempt, please don't be too hard on me.
Thanks
#2
I write a lot of poetry, so i'd go with:
In
Never
cut out forever

hope this helps

TAOD4ever