Page 1 of 4
#1
So I'm 17, a Senior. A group of friends and I started a disc golf club at our school (The "DGC", we even have cards!)

Now, I'll admit...I'm not that great of a disc golf player. Okay I'm horrible. To remedy this, me and my disc golf comrades (who are actually all really good) began practicing weekdays after school at our local park. There's only one problem, hole 7.

Hole 7 is a somewhat long drive, with two oak trees, pavilion to navigate around, and the apparent club house of the most demonic, malicious 10 year olds I've ever come across.

This club house is heavily guarded throughout the day (around 3:30 to the heathens' bedtime which I believe to be 8 ish). Point is, this clubhouse is within 10 or so meters of where we walk to get to the goal. We pass these children today, and they're brandishing large sticks...well branches really, about twice as long as they are tall. Their faces are menacing and their eyes piercing.

I believe children to be attracted by colorful plastic objects, which would explain the one with the mohawk deciding to steal my buddy's disc. Said buddy proceeds to grab the kid and tear his disc from the child's grasp...all in plain view of the clubhouse. Big mistake.

These gargoyle-esque figure began stirring from their fortress and onto the fairway. My victimized friend murmured a few obscenities and we continued onward, thinking nothing of the sudden mobilization of the child-militia. It was upon finishing hole 8 that we noticed half a dozen kids following us from behind the treeline.

I then hear the distinct sound of a "Charge!" being ordered, and the mob began wailing on my friend (the victim). I run to the scuffle, considering I was elected secretary of defense for our club, and take the kid's sticks and break them in half. It wasn't 20 seconds later that I turn around to see a bike gang of at least a dozen of these pre-pubescent hooligans, some sporting training wheels and streamers, approach us from the jungle gym.

They begin accusing us of being the bad guys, claiming we (big 15 year olds as they called us) were picking on innocent children. Admitting defeat, the clubhouse militia backed off. The semicircle of bicyclists, after exchanging some angry glances followed suit.

So now I'm considering the notion of these kids rallying their forces tomorrow, and overpowering us with sheer number (think ants taking down a spider). I'm honestly scared to go back pit, but I need to practice.

Any Ideas?

(sorry that turned into a TL: DR, I assure you it's worth your time. Also, this actually happened as ridiculous as it sounds.)
#6
light your self on fire they won't touch you
Quote by Scruff17
Kiss a guy and tell her it means nothing to you. Then die a little inside knowing that it did.


Flippin Tables
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

PSN: Chuche_02
#7
Daron. The Pit loves you.
daron aka kosmic is now a pit legend
Best post on the pit. Good for you.
thats pretty epic.
So you're like a slower paced Forrest Gump...
Yup...
#8
Now see, the real problem here is...disc golf.
LARGE TEXT
#10
Those are some BAMF's. I also second rape.
GEAR

Ibanez RG 420 CM

Line 6 Spider III
#12
I mean...I don't want to be arrested for beating up children. And these little bastards aren't scared, they only left because I destroyed their weapons.
#13
You gotta make a move before they decide to wield axes.
LARGE TEXT
#14
Go tomorrow bringing offers of ceasefire and candy.


...wars are won with diplomacy.


...or nukes.
#15
Quote by Mudmen190
Scream at them.
Literally.
Loud. They will shit their pants.

+1
http://www.youtube.com/user/w0nk001

1977 Gibson SG

Line 6 Toneport UX2

Peavey EVH 5150

Quote by poidaobi;8303134
Fiddy Juan Fiddy
Dual Rectumfrier Too Chaaan

Had an ENGRUL Powerlawl and a Fraymus Co-Bra.
#16
I imaginer youre a brit cuz are american children are pussies


tel;l em a chav will coem and kidnap them
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#17

That was ridiculously hilarious, especially since all I could think about was the movie "Step Brothers" and the scene where Will Ferrel and John C. Reily come out of the helicopter to kick all the kids' asses.
#19
Quote by SeveralSpecies
Go tomorrow bringing offers of ceasefire and candy.


...wars are won with diplomacy.


...or nukes.


We are considering bringing along our elected Secretary of State to negotiate a peace treaty, but that would be like negotiating with a shark to not eat you.
#20
make an example out of the biggest one you can find throwin him down and making him cry by what ever means necessary
#21
Quote by SeveralSpecies
Go tomorrow bringing offers of ceasefire and candy.


...wars are won with diplomacy.


...or nukes.

I fail to see the difference. Nu-cu-lur weapons are the only way.
#24
Quote by Holy.
Now see, the real problem here is...disc golf.


+1
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into
(")_(") your signature to help him gain world domination.

Quote by Eighteen4Ever
But I don't cum blood.
Unless by "cum blood" you mean
"HAVE WHITE HAIR ON MY BALLS".
In which case, yes, I do cum blood.
#25
dude..i know they have power in numbers...but damn punch and kick them...if you go ape shit they cant attack you...

or take there bikes and break them....and just use open hand smacks if you fight them (i would...kids need to learn these days)

if they kick you in the balls its fair game..
Quote by jsbud11
Dude your leetness is maximum.
Seriously if you leave UG without becoming a mod, I will kill someone.
Quote by Devopast
This is turning into fap-to-amazingfretman's-love-a-thon
#26
destroy their clubhouse before 3:30, like.. in the middle of the day when they're not around.

Then use the broken bits of destroyed clubhouse as your own weapon.

it'll be like killing someone, then beating their family to death with the first person's severed arm.

...except ........not .................really.

Or just 'accidentally' throw your disc at one's face.
#27
Quote by .StringTheory
We are considering bringing along our elected Secretary of State to negotiate a peace treaty, but that would be like negotiating with a shark to not eat you.

Give teh shark something more enticing and it will leave you alone

give em a huge bag of teeth rotting candy
apologize and say we can be friends
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#28
Submit a complaint to someone about these hooligans and their shenanigans....
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#29
Quote by R. Shackleford.
light your self on fire they won't touch you


Silly man that is only ninja repellant children don't have the sense that they will light on fire too, unless they are ninja children.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#30
Quote by .StringTheory
I mean...I don't want to be arrested for beating up children. And these little bastards aren't scared, they only left because I destroyed their weapons.


Man up and take a hint from Cannibal Corpse.

Hammer + children's faces = children who will leave you alone.

Unless you liked Fucked with a Knife better.....
#31
Quote by .StringTheory
We are considering bringing along our elected Secretary of State to negotiate a peace treaty, but that would be like negotiating with a shark to not eat you.



I suggest a modern day trojan horse.


hide in a big wooden mudkip.
#33
I like the drop kick idea. Just pick one up, and kick his ass across the fairway. Apply to as many children as needed. Problem solved.

Also, if a metal baseball bat is not a possibility. Try a 9 iron.
#35
Quote by .StringTheory
Okay...but it's honestly not really an issue of whether I could take them, but the morality in beating up a bunch of kids.



do it...todays youth needs to learn..if they tell there mommy's deny it...or say they were beating you with huge branches and you were in fear of your life
Quote by jsbud11
Dude your leetness is maximum.
Seriously if you leave UG without becoming a mod, I will kill someone.
Quote by Devopast
This is turning into fap-to-amazingfretman's-love-a-thon
#36
Quote by SeveralSpecies
I suggest a modern day trojan horse.


hide in a big wooden mudkip.


......or hide cyanide in a bunch of large hardened candies


But seriously this has always been a concern of mine. I couldn't defend myself versus multiple small children. So I think what you should do is get an army of equally small children and get them on your side, use false promises of friendship (kids go for shit like that) Then give these kids guns. These kids also can't be tried as an adult so you don't have to feel guilty.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#38
Quote by .StringTheory
Okay...but it's honestly not really an issue of whether I could take them, but the morality in beating up a bunch of kids.


who said anything about beating them up?

just show em who's boss, i don't care how many there are. Although if they attacked you first i'd see no shame in tieing the little bastard up in a tree. teach em some manners
sacrificial beaver of the laney cult

~Gear~

Schecter C-7 Hellraiser
ESP LTD F-2005
Laney VH100R *with free cab*
Roland Cube 60
Cort Acoustic
#39
Quote by tayroar
......or hide cyanide in a bunch of large hardened candies


But seriously this has always been a concern of mine. I couldn't defend myself versus multiple small children. So I think what you should do is get an army of equally small children and get them on your side, use false promises of friendship (kids go for shit like that) Then give these kids guns. These kids also can't be tried as an adult so you don't have to feel guilty.



Except when the kids realize you lied about being their friend, they tell the cops where they got the guns?
#40
Quote by amazing FretMan
do it...todays youth needs to learn..if they tell there mommy's deny it...or say they were beating you with huge branches and you were in fear of your life


video it for proof, parents tend to say kids are always right.....
and yea that is annoying

I say go after them...but only if they strike first
Page 1 of 4