#1
Just started writing it today, not quiet done yet but Im getting their.

Tell's me what ya think.
#4
Quote by Ablyss
I'm not seeing where you've got a song to listen too...??

On my profile!

Quote by blistercity
I presumed it's the one in his profile.
Anyways,
I really liked it (mellow indeed). It was interesting and relaxing at the same time, which is difficult to accomplish. I liked that alot.
C4C??
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=966323

Thanks man! To me its all that but I wanna see can other people get the feeling from i etc.
#5
Ok just finished the song and have it uploaded now! CRIT!

imo its my best work to this date. Really proud of it
#6
Wow I really liked this, this is the kind of music I wish I could make. The only part I didn't think fit as well was when it got a little heaver from around 3-4 minutes, but the clean tone as well as the overdriven tone were fantastic. The outro and the part where the distorted guitar first comes in are really good. BTW, how did you record the guitar parts, and what did you use for drums/piano/other noises?
Originally posted by ForTheOptimists
anal seepage diffiently takes the cake for me. Congratulations the_pick_gnome you are one sick twisted person :]
#7
thanks for the crit, and for following my tunes

critting as i listen... intro is great man, very mellow, ive experimented with that same kind of stuff, so i can appreciate it more. this is something i can picture hearing in a movie somewhere. is this something you'd put vocals on it? because its the kinda song that could even do without them. the bit at 1:55ish was awesome. very clean/tight. the end starts to get epic, definately my kinda thing. production was good man, howd you record your guitar?
#8
Quote by the_pick_gnome
Wow I really liked this, this is the kind of music I wish I could make. The only part I didn't think fit as well was when it got a little heaver from around 3-4 minutes, but the clean tone as well as the overdriven tone were fantastic. The outro and the part where the distorted guitar first comes in are really good. BTW, how did you record the guitar parts, and what did you use for drums/piano/other noises?

hah thanks man! I somewhat agree with you, I think its too abrupt for the song, So Im prolly gonna go back and work on that part.


I used Guitar Pro for the intro synth and piano, and chorus synth. Then for all the guitars I used Guitar Rig 3.

Quote by juzcook
thanks for the crit, and for following my tunes

critting as i listen... intro is great man, very mellow, ive experimented with that same kind of stuff, so i can appreciate it more. this is something i can picture hearing in a movie somewhere. is this something you'd put vocals on it? because its the kinda song that could even do without them. the bit at 1:55ish was awesome. very clean/tight. the end starts to get epic, definately my kinda thing. production was good man, howd you record your guitar?

Thanks man! It does help if you have played the music to understand it more. No lyrics going over this. Instrumental. Theirs loads more proper synth and piano thru out the song originally!
Cheers for that man!!

^Read the above about the guitars.
#9
intro is nice and melodic but the heavier bit is pretty generic rock.you could possibly change it up with a more off the wall drumbeat like


bd--sn--bdbdbd--sn-hh
#10
I really liked this as well. I would love to hear some vocals over this i can definately imagine something like this on the radio for sure! the end was a bit heavy i thought too but quieting it down at the end made it fit better i think. Overall i thought it was great the piano riff was good enough to hold my attention at the beginning (and all the way through)

I will definately give this another listen

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=968017
"Through every dark night there is a bright day after that so no matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up, and handle it."
#11
Quote by GhostReverie
intro is nice and melodic but the heavier bit is pretty generic rock.you could possibly change it up with a more off the wall drumbeat like


bd--sn--bdbdbd--sn-hh

Thankfully it aint my job to do drums when it comes down to the band. So I wouldnt take any notice of drums tbh!

But thanks for the crit

Quote by Soul_Blazer
I really liked this as well. I would love to hear some vocals over this i can definately imagine something like this on the radio for sure! the end was a bit heavy i thought too but quieting it down at the end made it fit better i think. Overall i thought it was great the piano riff was good enough to hold my attention at the beginning (and all the way through)

I will definately give this another listen

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=968017

Its gonna stay an instrumental Im afraid. Ya, I go from north to south basicly to try and keep the listener guessing The aim of the game.

Glad you enjoyed it man
#12
nice sound, the production is quite good, congratulations

the song is a bit cheesy for my taste in the first 3 minutes, but it feels good when distortion kicks in

great stuff after 03:10!!!

add some lyrics and you get a kickass song!
#13
I'm not sure about the tone of the synth strings at the very begining, up until the distortion I thought this sounded a lot like "Jesus Christ" and I really liked that sort of intense grittiness combined with strong melody.

the breakdown at 3:10 works well in introducing the sort of crescendo finalé you've chosen and I feel it brings the piece to a satisfactory end.

Very well produced as well, are you working on vocals?
Too much gain = Ears in pain
#14
Quote by Gacel
nice sound, the production is quite good, congratulations

the song is a bit cheesy for my taste in the first 3 minutes, but it feels good when distortion kicks in

great stuff after 03:10!!!

add some lyrics and you get a kickass song!

Thanks mate!

Haha gotta love distortion

Thanks for the crit, glad you liked the end as I have been abit meh with it!

Quote by Nic Play Guitar
I'm not sure about the tone of the synth strings at the very begining, up until the distortion I thought this sounded a lot like "Jesus Christ" and I really liked that sort of intense grittiness combined with strong melody.

the breakdown at 3:10 works well in introducing the sort of crescendo finalé you've chosen and I feel it brings the piece to a satisfactory end.

Very well produced as well, are you working on vocals?

Well its only guitar pro unfortunly so I couldnt do anything with it Is "Jesus Chris" a song? lol

Thanks for the crit once again I was unsure about the ending but its seems alright so I will leave it!

#15
Hi,

Fantastic man! This sounds very professional.. I really like the tone of your guitar, especially on the distorted parts.. The drums are awesome, the mixing is great.. The only thing I can say, really, is that you should use *real* piano and synth effects instead of GP next time
Very good job! You make me proud once again

Wanna crit my new cover? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=966595
Cheers!

ZeG
#16
Not too much to add to above comments, sounds good - catchy, amazing production... making me think maybe I should invest in guitar rig 3 if this is the sound you can put out

Only thing I might experiment with is the synthesizer (ie around 2:40) part - maybe another instrument, synth is a little too cheezy-80s imo. The heavy guitar part immediately thereafter (3:10) leaves something to be desired compared to the rest of the song... I don't know that it's dissonant per se but it just sounds like the wrong direction to me.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=16497440#post16497440
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#17
Yeah, sorry man, It sounds like "Jesus Christ" by Brand New, at least I could fit the melody over the top... just had a similiar vibe at the start.
Too much gain = Ears in pain
#18
This is very well written. If you ever decide to add vocals, I'd take out the synth. That's one part I'm not a huge fan of. I did however, like the guitar. If you/whoever in your band can achieve that tone live, you're on your way to success. I liked the distroted guitar part more than the clean, but then again, I'm a metalhead by birth. I could definately see this on the radio. Get rid of that synth and add some vocals and you're golden.

Edit: C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=16502704#post16502704

check out all they videos on youtube
they dead serious about thuggin like that
if you ask me they are fruity
an i hope one morning they drown in there fruit loops
Last edited by Wasted Bassist at Sep 30, 2008,
#20
Quote by ZeGuitarist
Hi,

Fantastic man! This sounds very professional.. I really like the tone of your guitar, especially on the distorted parts.. The drums are awesome, the mixing is great.. The only thing I can say, really, is that you should use *real* piano and synth effects instead of GP next time
Very good job! You make me proud once again

Wanna crit my new cover? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=966595
Cheers!

ZeG

Thanks man!! The reason why the distortion sounds good is the bass, it really complimented the eq'ing. I agree about the synth tho, GP is really a worst case scenario when it comes to writing songs

Glad you like it mate! :Cheers:

Quote by Aitrus
Not too much to add to above comments, sounds good - catchy, amazing production... making me think maybe I should invest in guitar rig 3 if this is the sound you can put out

Only thing I might experiment with is the synthesizer (ie around 2:40) part - maybe another instrument, synth is a little too cheezy-80s imo. The heavy guitar part immediately thereafter (3:10) leaves something to be desired compared to the rest of the song... I don't know that it's dissonant per se but it just sounds like the wrong direction to me.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=16497440#post16497440

You should invest in Guitar Rig 3 man! Its amazing for a amp emulator.

I agree, I had a completely different idea for the synth lead, but GP didnt have it so
I did have problems with the transition into the last riff, Still messing around with ideas to see will something new and better pop in.

Thanks for the crit


Quote by Wasted Bassist
This is very well written. If you ever decide to add vocals, I'd take out the synth. That's one part I'm not a huge fan of. I did however, like the guitar. If you/whoever in your band can achieve that tone live, you're on your way to success. I liked the distroted guitar part more than the clean, but then again, I'm a metalhead by birth. I could definately see this on the radio. Get rid of that synth and add some vocals and you're golden.

Edit: C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=16502704#post16502704

Thanks man! I dont think I could put vocals over this. Without a very good vocalist it would ruin the song imo. Well the tone hear is very close to my own tone on my cornford, especially the cleans.

Cheers for the crit man! :Cheers:
#21
I love how full it sounds but it still feels like it needs more in parts.I see you want to keep it an insturmental.I am not sure if that is the best idea since I believe in parts it could really benifit from a good vocal melody in the chorus.

I can help but get the thought of a toned down Dream Theater style comming from this.


Here, I will list what I don't like:

The synth choice on the chorus.Its a little overbearing I believe.I think it could have a little more to it too.Make it stand out more as a lead.Possibly a polysynth.

No solo on the bridge.It is dying for one.Especially if it is not going to have vocals.But it needs to be done tastfully,no wanking please.Without a solo it feels like it goes on to long.

I am not sure if I am satisfied with the end.I am on the fence with it.Maybe it ends too soon?I don't know.Yea,I think it ends too soon.

What I love about it:

The great sounds used directly after the first chorus are great.

The riffs on the bridge are the highlight for me.It just needs a solo.


Overall I really like it.I have listened to it about five or six times while writing this.But I don't think you are quite done with this one yet and I hope you take my thoughts on it into consideration.

Keep me posted if you do anything with this.
Quote by lol2theworld
I was about to diss kornflipsk8er, but then i realized hes an 03er and im an 09er.
I am inferior to him.


Quote by metalh3ad88
I am fairly certain that kornflipsk8er is GOD!!!11!!!!1!!
#22
^Yeah its not done yet. As you said their are a few parts which are empty but thats where our drummer comes in. He does all the synth and piano and he has some amazing stuff written for this. Like if I could play piano it would actually enhance the song but I dont unfortunly.

Cheers for your crit, very constructive