#1
They say the best in life are free.
This is true.

As all the best artists have their halcyon periods of success , over the last few weeks, I have entered an era of producing critically acclaimed, number 1 selling, stadium filling dumps.

The perfect combination of anus, diet and metabolism has now been fulfilled: My visits to the john have become infinitely satisfying, with each release giving a sense of achievement and contentment, each drop a step along the road to inner peace.
Despite heavy intake of alcohol, curry or fibrous vegetation, each poo remains not too soft to smear, nor too firm to be painful: Even after extended bout of defecation, I have never needed more than three wipes to become squeaky clean. No level of spice has brought on the dreaded Delhi belly, or the dreaded ring of fire.

But already, I fear of the day when my Utopian toilet trips become some hellish mockery of my current, heavenly present. But for now I pay tribute and give thanks to my glorious digestive system.

Long may we live in harmony.
#7
Quote by \m/ Björn \m/
tl;dr


lolol u so funni

If you didn't read it don't post.

On topic, though; I'm having a similar period of bliss, the only minor niggle being that perhaps my egressions are somewhat volume-tastic, and usually leave me feeling somewhat embarrassed given that I live in Student Halls at the moment.

ಠ_ಠ

wat

#8
lucky bastard

I watched BME pain olympics and the whole of offended on encyclopedia dramatica 5 minutes ago, and I feel sick =[ I need a big hug please, that is my simple pleasure (hugs, not disturbing images/vids)

PLEASE?!
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#9
Yes, may we live in Harmonius. The best thing in live is the feeling of achievement - that's the best feeling anyone can feel.
¤´¨留話 請留話 請在我說完後
¸.•´¸.•´¨¸.•¤¨哭泣我不在這裡 我不在那裡請在嗶一聲之後留
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´(´¸.•¤´`¤下自己的秘密請在嗶一聲之後對話筒沾自喜請在嗶一聲之後對空氣唉聲嘆氣


我不在這裡 我人在哪裡 我想到哪裡¤

請在嗶一聲之後留下有聲的話題¤

請在嗶一聲之後分擔感情的問題¤


¤¤¤

#11
Quote by zObiPhiOn
Is this related to the fact that you're Bono's evil twin?

Watch South Park...


well I got it.

hug? please?
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#13
Good God, that pretty much just made my week.

=D
Quote by death_metaller
**** burzum XD

there i said it...kinda

edit: i do realise they are not here...so i kinda didnt say it...




fail
#14
That's what the Buddhists try to achieve. Congratulations good sir.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#15
I don't know whether to applaud or throw up.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#17
Somehow, when I randomly clicked on the thread, I knew it was going to be about pooing. Sadly, I can no longer take pleasure in such satisfying poos. I'm using a toilet in Student Halls.
#18
Quote by Jaymz_515
lolol u so funni

If you didn't read it don't post.

What I was going to say.

I hate it when people do that.
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#19
Quote by lolcats

pretty much.

Current Gear:
LTD MH-400 with Gotoh GE1996T (EMG 85/60)
PRS SE Custom 24 (Suhr SSH+/SSV)
Ibanez RG3120 Prestige (Dimarzio Titans)
Squier Vintage Modified 70s Jazz V
Audient iD22 interface
Peavey Revalver 4, UAD Friedman BE100/DS40
Adam S3A monitors
Quote by Anonden
You CAN play anything with anything....but some guitars sound right for some things, and not for others. Single coils sound retarded for metal, though those who are apeshit about harpsichord probably beg to differ.