it's the one called broken glass. just post a link to your thread and i'll give a listen and crit


lyrics aren't recorded but here they are

another step through broken glass just
to think of all the things that just won't last and
pray to god you'll have some class while
another walk of life dances past you
say it's over say its new but just don't say its discreet
my back tends to crack underneath all of the weight on your feet
wait around for something that can't be beat
wait arounds just to see your defeat

i'd lie to you
just to see your pretty face fall down
i'd vie for you
just for the chance to see you drown

put down my hand just to lift you up but
rescues are hard hard on top of broken trust
all signs ahead "enlightenment or bust"
wait for skin to reform on these old cuts
say it's better say it's worse but don't say i haven't changed
friendship can triumph even after love has become estranged
my whole life has been rearranged
seems you're the one who hasn't changed

i'd lie to you
just to see your pretty face fall down
i'd vie for you
just for the chance to see you drown
Don't you try and ask me your expiration date
Plans that forgot me 99 times
you'll be the one who opens the gate.

- Cedric Bixler Zavala

Founder of the UG RHPS fanclub....

to join simply amend sig..
Last edited by TenaciousLSD at Sep 28, 2008,
I'm quite the amateur but I like the rhyme scheme here.
Loyal minds will not break.

This sounds like a very intense song! I like the arrangement and the playing, all very good.. Only the recording could be better.. The drums track is of very bad quality, the cymbals sound like a background static because of this, could be better.. But the guitar and bass are better!
I'd like to hear it when the lyrics are recorded and with better quality, but this song definitely has potential!

Wanna crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=955209
And if you want, I have a new cover thread here: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=966595

Recording quality isn't great but song sounds pretty good - reminds me of something like the offspring (whether that's a compliment or not depends on your tastes I guess :P). I really liked the drum patterns going on, but the whole song really comes together quite nicely as a whole too.

Would definitely like to hear it with vocals!

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=16497440#post16497440
My Gear
Epi Les Paul
Roland Microcube
Boss DS-1 pedal
Shure SM57
M-Audio Fasttrack
first thing i noticed was quality, like people said fix that and it will improve the song ten fold
i thought it was interesting the drums were great throughout and the lead riff was pretty cool too.
Lyrics are needed i think to make this sound finished and obviously they are already written i would just like to hear them

Overall i liked it i was definatley getting into it and i started bobbin my head lol

- Soul

"Through every dark night there is a bright day after that so no matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up, and handle it."
As the guy said above, the cymbols sound really distorted. The drums are cool yet sound a bit ****ed up/out of time around the 1.30 mark.

The overall sound was good and to me kinda sounded like an ambient version of something Amanda Palmer would do. I know you're solo probably took a lot of work, but it didn't feel like there was much effort involved. It just sounded like fret wanking to me :p Try playing the chord structure once through then for the same amount of time solo after it. It's easier to find riffs that will fit with your piece I find.

c4c? - If you could leave a comment just on my page that would be cool cheers