#1
"Un homme à la mer!"
"Un homme à la mer!"
Derrière des paupières d'ébène
et un coeur taciturne.

Ça bouge dans les chambres,
dans les grands bateaux orange,
On a l'habitude
d'infini perpétue.

On jette par dessus bord
des petits morceaux
des morceaux de papier
des canots de mots.

On lance une bouée
dessinée de plomb,
nos arts ne sont pas faits
pour s'entre-sauver.

"Un homme à la mer!"
"Un homme à la mer!"
Regardez son égoïsme,
Il ne se débat que pour lui,
même pas pour cette femme
aux humeurs gouvernail.
Last edited by circular.parade at Oct 3, 2008,
#2
that's pretty good
I'm from Montreal, so I'm probably one of the few who can understand
If The Sun Refused To Shine
I Would Still Be Loving You
Mountains Crumble To The Sea
There Would Still Be You And Me

My Stuff
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Roland Cube 30X
Washburn Acoustic
Dunlop CryBaby
#4
I'm working on the words, babyface. <3
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#5
I don't really understand why you would post this here, if not just to prove that you can write in French. I don't know how many of us know enough French to read poetry.

That being said, I did enjoy this. There's something very freeing about reading a poem outside one's native language. I feel as if I can focus on meaning rather than how a phrase is shaped.
Agghh skeet, skeet, crit me, skeet, skeet!
#6
I love the imagery, it's so vivid. I loooove the 3rd and 4th stanzas But what does gouvernail mean? I've never heard the word before.
Drop another coin in the slot, and I will tell you more...
#7
^ Rudder.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#8
Quote by ABetterBassist
I don't really understand why you would post this here, if not just to prove that you can write in French. I don't know how many of us know enough French to read poetry.

That being said, I did enjoy this. There's something very freeing about reading a poem outside one's native language. I feel as if I can focus on meaning rather than how a phrase is shaped.


I'm not trying to prove anything, French is my mother tongue and I barely ever speak English. It's more the other way around.

If people can't understand it, they won't comment. But I know for a fact that a few regulars here, about 4 or 5, are fluent enough in French to get the main vibe out of it without using a translator. Thanks anyways for the words, same goes out to sam, culex and Chack.

Sam, I'm in mtl too atm. Chack, thanks a lot, do you actually understand French? Or you looked everything up? I really appreciate the positive feedback, as those two precise stanzas are what I'm trying to lean towards in matters of style and phonetics.
Last edited by circular.parade at Sep 29, 2008,
#9
You know, the feeling is ridiculously relatable right now. The imagery has that minimalist beauty to it, giving this ominous yet distant desperation to the whole piece.

"nos arts ne sont pas faits
pour s'entre-sauver."
I don't care how badly you thought you worded that, it's an amazing line.

It didn't accomplish anything amazing, but I don't think it was meant to.

I'm still staring.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#10
I'm from montreal too.

Good poem, this song reminds me of "un homme a la mer, pour chaque fille amere" :P
#12
Quote by circular.parade
Sam, I'm in mtl too atm. Chack, thanks a lot, do you actually understand French? Or you looked everything up? I really appreciate the positive feedback, as those two precise stanzas are what I'm trying to lean towards in matters of style and phonetics.


I'm totally French. My name is Chantal and my entire family is from St. Jaques, New Brunswick, which is just on the border of Northern Quebec. I wouldn't say it's my first language because I'm much better with English, but I've learned French and English simultaneously my entire life. So I'm fluent. I was thinking of minoring in French in University only because French at Carleton is a joke, it's stuff I learned in elementary school. Hooray for slacking off
Drop another coin in the slot, and I will tell you more...
#13
It's you who's French I remember reading another French piece here a while ago, then I forgot who the French S&Ler was.

I thought this was good. As was said earlier, my French isn't perfect, so I like that I concentrate on the meaning of the words rather than their structure. It flowed well. 3rd and 4th stanzas were wonderful.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#14
Quote by kevC4
I'm from montreal too.

Good poem, this song reminds me of "un homme a la mer, pour chaque fille amere" :P


lol, that's Stephie Shock, right?

Chantal, that's awesome. Let me know when you have something recent up. Katherine, I'll drop by your piece soon enough.

Thanks for the kind words.
#15
Quote by circular.parade
lol, that's Stephie Shock, right?

Chantal, that's awesome. Let me know when you have something recent up. Katherine, I'll drop by your piece soon enough.

Thanks for the kind words.


I've got a piece up, it's probably on the second page by now. I'd like to try writing in another language one day. Maybe tomorrow
Drop another coin in the slot, and I will tell you more...
#18
Hey Mat my man, my poor Ontario french is only good enough to really understand about half of what you've written, but what I can read, I like.