Here is the latest version:

This is a metal / hard rock song that I have been writing for quite some time now. A couple of my friends helped with the bass and clean vocals, and once we get an actual drummer, we're going to get a full band together...

Okay, so overwhelmingly, the thing to change about this song was the vocals, so I practiced a bit more, and redid it. Hopefully, now my voice sounds less strained and stuff...

This is the older version that has the vocals people didn't like:

But anyway, comments and criticism are welcome, especially on the vocals. Like, if you can tell me whether or not the vocals are, in your opinion, noticeably better in the new one, that would be cool.
Last edited by Brain245 at Oct 2, 2008,
Very fresh using old elements. I love it! Though I'd consider re-recording the vocals, I found them dissatisfying compared to the music. Good job!
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The instruments were great I'd leave them as is, but the vocals I found horrible. Incredibly forced and sounded just plain odd. It sounds like someone young trying to sound older, it jsut doesnt work. I'd get someone a bit older to record them and it would sound a lot better and make the whole song sound pretty professional.