#1
a Love song sang pop punk rock style kinda thing this is the 3rd song i wrote
please comment and let me know what you think and what i have to work on Thank you

Verse:
I may talk wrong
like i dont know
i may talk to stupid
to put on a show
i may talk mean
cause i dont know what to say
i have my reasons
for what i do everyday

Chorus:X2
I just wanna get noticed....
just wanna be involved in your life
I'm Sorry for what i do
But i just wanna be with you
and show that i care for you..


Verse:
i wanna talk to you
i hope you do too
I feel like we're close
what about you?
I'm sorry if i ruin your day
i don't wanna be in your way
i have my reasons
for how i act everyday

Chorus:X2
I just wanna get noticed....
just wanna be involved in your life
I'm Sorry for what i do
But i just wanna be with you
and show that i care for you..

Bridge

Chorus:X2
I just wanna get noticed....
just wanna be involved in your life
I'm Sorry for what i do
But i just wanna be with you
and show that i care for you..
#2
hm well i thikn that the chorus will be extremely overused if you repeat it twice each time, so id say just leave it at one. also i think you overused the rhymes of way, day, say, you, too, do, etc. if you know what i mean, also at the end of the chorus i dont like the whole you thing twice in the last two lines. it was a solid peice overall but those are just some things to watch for, i think that you didnt make it to overly cliche which is a victory itself in a love song

c4c?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=968359