#1
song i wrote rather quickly, and an acoustic song with just a couple chords, failry simple, c4c

i saw a man
lying on the side of the street
so i game him my spare change
he said thank you son, but i have no one else to blame

if i could go back
i wouldnt change that id end up like this
i just want to go back
and expierience all that i missed

he said

have you ever
stayed up late and look at all the stars in the sky
have you ever
sat there and just wondered why
do the people you love
know your sorry when you make them cry
do you realize
everyone someday is going to die

so i went home that night
to see my family

and i said

tonight lets stay up late
and look at all the stars in the sky
then we can sit there
and wonder why
i hope you know
im sorry when i make you cry
do you realize
one day all of us are going to die

*need a title and some suggestions or advice, it may seem broken up weird but thats because the strumming pattern is fairly unusual
peace
c4c
#2
I could say where this would be a acoustic song, fairly sad, but I feel the rhyming patteren gets old . Well Its not that its just getting old, but the exact pattern is being used again in the other verse. One suggestion I have is fix that. Add some more variety. Sure you want the one person in the story to go home and express what he learned from the man , but you also want to keep the reader interested.

I wrote a song simlilar to this awhile back ( The whole loved ones are going to die one day.) I titled mine , "Grieving for the Future."

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=966513
Write it down.
#3
its a great song i like the meaning i dont find anything wrong with it really
#4
i saw a man
lying on the side of the street
so i game him my spare change
he said thank you son, but i have no one else to blame

Absolutely beast. I assume your playing "blame" off of "change" which flows really well.

if i could go back
i wouldnt change that id end up like this This doesn't really SEEM very tight, maybe its just me. Feels like you would need to sing it really fast but I dunno.
i just want to go back
and expierience all that i missed


he said Random sorta lol

have you ever
stayed up late and look at all the stars in the sky
have you ever
sat there and just wondered why
do the people you love
know your sorry when you make them cry
do you realize
everyone someday is going to die

This part isn't the most amazing well put together, structionally and lyrically, but the emotion and message behind it completely makes up for it and more.

so i went home that night
to see my family

and i said

tonight lets stay up late
and look at all the stars in the sky
then we can sit there
and wonder why
i hope you know
im sorry when i make you cry
do you realize
one day all of us are going to die

If you could scratch this last part and word it differently it would be alot better. With this song being rather short hearing this resaid might be a little painful but its still ok if you don't change it. Overall I give it a thumb and a half up.


Realy good song. as for as titles... Maybe take an idea from the song. Wonder, Think, Stars, Days can't be relived.

Somethin lol iight bro good job keep it up