#1
In these abandoned streets alone.
addmitted by the bright floresent lights.
we run our playful time's.

makeing the time pass us by in hase
you never looked so beautiful under blinding streams
laughter we've expelled echo's throughout,
these city streets will never forget this moment

my stitched heart leave's for your taking.
only to be givin back to fix another cut.
still I apaulagize for the black blood on your dress
before we resume our playful game
abandoned on our city streets.
A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence.
#2
You have an idea, and a quick, jotted brainstorm here. Go back and fix your spelling, tenses, and punctuation. Return here with something more than a napkin draft, and you'll get a more complete critique from someone other than Sean Connery.
#3
I don't get what perfect spelling and punctuation would have to do with getting others thoughts. Not like its a school paper. But thanks I think.
A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence.
#4
Spelling and punctuation make it easier to read. Punctuation guides the reader in how to read it... and bad spelling just convinces me you are an idiot who isn't capable of writing something intelligent which damages how I view your piece, and how seriously I take it. Seriously, its worth the time if you want to be taken even remotely seriously, or want helpful comments.