#1
life just sucked today so i wrote a song...

verse 1
drenched in this anger
this undying pain
love lies bleeding
makes me insane
someone please save me
im out of control
why am i like this
just f*** this world
verse 2
animosity mixed with jealousy
demonic thoughts fill my mind
your trying to save me
just leave me behind
like everyone else,
im all by myself
in this world love lies bleeding
wont someone please save me
Verse 3
discontentment fills my head
my mind my heart
there pretty much dead
i turn to the wrong things
and lose every time
love lies bleeding
lust f*** off and die

leave me comments i need help with a chorus
#4
structurally, your rhyme scheme is inconsistent. content-wise, it's excessively teenage. there are better ways of getting your emotions through to the reader than just outright claiming them (superfluously). it's all pathos, all cliche, all annoying.
#5
Yeah, it's very "wah, my-girlfriend-left-me-I-broke-my-skateboard-my-parents-grounded-me-for-getting-a-D-on-my-math-test-i-hate-my-life-i-wanna-die"esque. Your intro to the song makes it THAT much more cliche.

Songs about being angry are okay, but like A.C. said, there are better ways of expressing yourself. Work on using metaphors and a way to say something that everyone has said in a way that no one else had said it before, if that makes any sense.

Oh, and you're reported (for your comment to technicolor).

It's my first report by the way!!!!!!!!!