#1
The following is an extract from a Lancastrian newspaper from April 1832. It was written by a Manchester Correspondant on his way home with a friend after a dinner party. Around 2am he noticed a small girl aged about 7 shivering from the cold outside the gates of the cotton mill.

"Such a sight at such an hour excited our curiosity and we enquired why she was sitting there. She replied that she was waiting for the factory gates to open and very innocently enquired how much it wanted to six o'clock. "Four hours child" was our reply. The poor little creature was astonished, but told us that she had been beaten for not being on time the morning before, and that she could not sleep and that her mother had no clock and that she was afraid of being late again."


-------------------

You'll never beat that. Especially considering once the mill opened at 6am, she would have to work for another 16 hours almost constantly.
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#6
tru dat
Extispicy: Predicting The Future Though The Study Of Animal Entrails...
#7
I run a cotton mill, and I HATE when people are late. Just the other day one of my workers didn't show up on time...they got what was coming to them.
Quote by nebraskan
Sometimes my penis stands up so I rub it and then he gets sick from the rubbing (probably an upset tummy) and throws up ... ...
Quote by metaldud536
Im 18 and ive never had a wet dream. is that normal?
Quote by Våd Hamster
I used to think that girls only had 2 holes

^sex?
#8
Once I almost got savaged by a Rottweiler on my Paper-Round
Hull City A.F.C

Quote by Thrashtastic15
crunkym toy diuckl;ess ass ****igkjn ****** **** bitch ass pussy ****er douchecanoe ****** **** you s omn cnt you lieet le biutch
#9
Once someone pooped on the toilet seat at work. It was both amazingly funny and quite awful to look at...
#10
One time in work, I made a Cheese, Roast Ham & Chutney panini for some one, but they complained that it didn't have enough cheese...
it was a rough day man
#12
Once I threw up at the register..another time I passed out..I think I just hated that job
Her friends are gazing on her,
And on her gaudy bier,
And weep!-oh! to dishonor
Dead beauty with a tear!
They loved her for her wealth-
And they hated her for her pride-
But she grew in feeble health,
And they love her-that she died.
#13
My worst day of work:

I woke up at the right time, got dressed, and ate. I went to work.

Man, that was horrible.
Quote by SamuelBirkett
wtf r u say make no sensical



SAVE THE MUDKIPS
#15
Quote by NutZz?
I run a cotton mill, and I HATE when people are late. Just the other day one of my workers didn't show up on time...they got what was coming to them.


a new shiney shilling?
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#16
Quote by metaldud536
Are you serious?...................



Yes, i'm serious!


Her friends are gazing on her,
And on her gaudy bier,
And weep!-oh! to dishonor
Dead beauty with a tear!
They loved her for her wealth-
And they hated her for her pride-
But she grew in feeble health,
And they love her-that she died.
#18
This one time I was getting ready to open my shop up in down town hiroshima...


Quote by dogismycopilot
Absent Mind, words cant express how much i love you. Id bone you, oh yea.

Quote by lumberjack
Absent Mind is, as usual, completely correct.

Quote by littlemurph7976
Id like to make my love for Neil public knowledge as he is a beautiful man
#19
Quote by wiggy1988
a new shiney shilling?


ah, I gave her TWO shiny shillings!

(infected with AIDS of course)


Quote by Minkaro
I used to work at Sportsworld. Need I say more?


I used to work at sportchek, high five!


....
Quote by nebraskan
Sometimes my penis stands up so I rub it and then he gets sick from the rubbing (probably an upset tummy) and throws up ... ...
Quote by metaldud536
Im 18 and ive never had a wet dream. is that normal?
Quote by Våd Hamster
I used to think that girls only had 2 holes

^sex?
#20
Quote by Minkaro
I used to work at Sportsworld. Need I say more?

you have my condolences
Extispicy: Predicting The Future Though The Study Of Animal Entrails...
#21
Quote by Absent Mind
This one time I was getting ready to open my shop up in down town hiroshima...


and it started raining. Christ I hate it when that happens
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#22
I got shot at, and mortared.
We'll Have You Dead Pretty Soon

Quote by dariusfinch
it means that people go to this to thread to masturbate
then leave without so much as a damn thank you!!

It pisses me off!!!

*masturbates*
*leaves*
#23
Quote by metaldog_USMC
I got shot at, and mortared.


zzzzz
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#25
Quote by metaldud536
Are you serious?..............




USMC is in his name, so he could be telling the truth.
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Wiggy = legend.

Devil's Advocate
#26
One time I showed up, worked my entire shift like normal, then my bosses took me to the back room and fired me. Right at the end of my shift.
"On this life that we call home
The years go fast
and the days go so slow...

the days go so slow
."
#28
Quote by metaldog_USMC
I got shot at, and mortared.

Did you get hit? My uncle was a sniper in Desert Storm, and he got shot in the stomach. I guess he got talked into playing paintball with some kids who he let play on his property, and he said that getting shot with a paintball hurts worse than getting shot with an assault rifle.