Asked to write a sonnet by our lecturer for a competition (TWENTY FIVE POUNDS A STAKE HERE) this is what i've got so far:

Moving In

“Walk in my footsteps” he echoes and brays
I resent his shadowing resonance
“where we ate and where, together, we lay”
I can forgive his timorous presence
I’m glad he’s gone but I think I realise
Whilst scouring the rooms of his rules and tools
Why that scent lingers; it was his demise:
Strong perfume and lonely men make for fools
“that’s where I kept my life, is it replaced?”
I’ve changed the locks, I intend to stay
“this is where I loved her, my very first taste”
But a woman’s perfume muddies my day
“Her scent was just pure and curled with my own ”
A lover’s last gift that unfurls a moan

Any points (especially techincal ones) would be ace as I want free money and because it's very definitely partly about form. Any and all crits will be returned if anyone takes the time.
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Hi Stuart,

I'm assuming this is a proper English Sonnet you're supposed to write?
There are specific rules for meter and structure.
In the meter department, each line should have 10 syllables
and the stress should be on the even syllables.
Iambic Pentameter.
Iamb = two syllables, with the stress on the second. Penta = five of these pairs.

the pattern should look like this:
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

here's your first line:
Walk in my footsteps he echoes and brays

so your pattern of stressed syllables looks like this:
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

it's a lovely pattern, but it doesn't fit the requirement for iambic pentameter.
depending on the rules of the competition, this might be a deal-breaker.

Jamie held a sonnet comp in S&L a while back.
You can get some additional information about structure from his OP in the sign-up thread.

any importance of what i've just said depends entirely on the rules of the comp you're in - whatever their expectations are. so i apologize, if none of this actually applies.

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