#1
I'm beginning to write a script for my final year project at uni, and need a load of piratey puns.

Go UG!!!!
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#2
yaarrrrrrrrrrr matey !


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#4
Captain Kidd and his crew were on the high seas when they were attacked by Blackbeard, their arch enemy.

The first shot by Blackbeard's gunners took off Kidd's forward mast. The second shot splintered the center mast, and the third desintegrated the rear mast.

Panic stricken, one of Kidd's men asked what they should do.

"We have no choice but to surrender", replied the pirate, "He's using weapons of mast destruction!"
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#5
the script gonna be ARRGH rated

yes i do go that lame lol
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#6
Quote by Aussie_skater
the script gonna be ARRGH rated

yes i do go that lame lol


that's one i thought about
#7
Quote by Kensai
Captain Kidd and his crew were on the high seas when they were attacked by Blackbeard, their arch enemy.

The first shot by Blackbeard's gunners took off Kidd's forward mast. The second shot splintered the center mast, and the third desintegrated the rear mast.

Panic stricken, one of Kidd's men asked what they should do.

"We have no choice but to surrender", replied the pirate, "He's using weapons of mast destruction!"


As much as I hate you, jokes like that are actually useful for me. Thanks.
PLAY UP POMPEY

POMPEY PLAY UP!

#8
One day, a guy was wearing an eye patch. Another guy walked up to him and asked, "Nice eyepatch, are you a pirate?"

And the guy replied,


"No, I have terminal ocular cancer."
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#9
Whats a pirates favorite resteraunt?
ARRRRbys

Whats a pirates favrite comic?
GARRRRfield

Whats a pirates favorite movie?
No country for old men


he just really likes it
#10
I forgot how it goes, but its that joke that ends with the pirate and a steering wheel on his crotch and he says "Yaaarrrr, its drivin me nuts!!"


MC name = Bearrorism
#11
Quote by rworsl
As much as I hate you, jokes like that are actually useful for me. Thanks.


Glad I could be of help
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#12
Less of the ones involving "yarrrrr" There's gotta be a limit to how many I can use in the script
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#13
why are pirates called pirates? because we arghh you land lumber!
google pirate jokes
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#14
Quote by Gargantuan
I forgot how it goes, but its that joke that ends with the pirate and a steering wheel on his crotch and he says "Yaaarrrr, its drivin me nuts!!"



so a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch
the barkeeper looks at him and says "You have a steering wheel on your crotch"
And he says

"Yarrr, I know, its drivin me nuts!"
#16
One pirate walks up to another pirate. One of them is a normal ever day pirate, but the other one has a steering wheel attached to his junk. The normal pirate asks, "What's that for?" and the other pirate say, "Aarg, it's driving me nuts!"
#17
Quote by Twist of fate
They don't call me long john because my face is so big.


You sir, are a genius.

That's definitely going in!
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#18
Quote by Jimmyiscool
so a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch
the barkeeper looks at him and says "You have a steering wheel on your crotch"
And he says

"Yarrr, I know, its drivin me nuts!"


i dont get it

it could be anyone walking into a bar with a steering wheel on their nuts
#19
Quote by rworsl
As much as I hate you, jokes like that are actually useful for me. Thanks.


o.o

And.. arrr.

Quote by Twist of fate
They don't call me long john because my face is so big.


Is it because you work at Long John Silver's?
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#20
Quote by marshmellowI'mobviously12yearsold
i dont get it

it could be anyone walking into a bar with a steering wheel on their nuts

A "pirate" accent usually replaces "my" with "me."

Therefore, "It's driving me nuts" could be both "It's driving me nuts" and "It's driving my nuts."
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PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

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PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#21
Why did the pirate quit his job? Because it was too h-arrgh-d?

where do pirates poop? on the poopdeck