#1
okay so i think my lyrics sound emo/like rap "songs" what do you think? (mind u i wrote these at 2 am in the morning) what can i do to fix it? i wanna write our bands first song, and im going for a knock you on ur @$$ rock song like "The Pretender" by foo fighters.

heres the first (untitled):

All this crap in my head
Just builds up all inside
What the hell to do?

Piles on every day!
More and more every single day!
I just wanna get out of this shit.

Chorus:

I just wanna escape, just flee
To a place where I am free
Where one gets to be
Every thing they want to be

All the others just don’t see
All there is to me!
They just assume.
They just presume
I am part of


than heres a random one i thought of:

Jump the Gun:

I got another obstacle in the way
Before the end of the race
Just another thing to face


WHAT DO I NEED TO DO! I NEED HELP! I CAN WRITE THE CHORDS AND RIFFS JUST NOT THE LYRICS TO MATCH~~~
#2
Try not rhyming so much to get away from the rap aspect you think you have. A lot of rap is based around consistent rhyming or have parts where several lines in a row are made to rhyme. Like so "Police think they can see me lean, I'm tint so it ain't easy to be seen, When you see me ride by they can see the glean, And my shine on the deck and the TV screen..." Although very basic lyrics they don't seem emo at all, they seem like obvious personal struggle. Try looking at lyrics to your favorite songs for ideas and try to expand your vocabulary to give you more options. Hope I helped.
Your opinion is just that, YOUR opinion. It doesn't make you right. It doesn't make you better. It doesn't make you god. Everyone has their own view and that view is neither right or wrong.

Ignorance destroys music.
#3
Quote by scream_it
Try not rhyming so much to get away from the rap aspect you think you have. A lot of rap is based around consistent rhyming or have parts where several lines in a row are made to rhyme. Like so "Police think they can see me lean, I'm tint so it ain't easy to be seen, When you see me ride by they can see the glean, And my shine on the deck and the TV screen..." Although very basic lyrics they don't seem emo at all, they seem like obvious personal struggle. Try looking at lyrics to your favorite songs for ideas and try to expand your vocabulary to give you more options. Hope I helped.

it did, and i tryied to use foo fighter's lyrics as a "reference" but it ended up to be very similer, see i want their influnece, but i dont wanna copy them
#4
You shouldn't write lyrics to "match" the piece, the lyrics should be a separate entity. Then you can try to work what you want to say into your riffs, but sometimes you will have to change the riff if it does not suit.
Your lyrics rhyme too much and have no substance, it seems lyrically immature. You need to delve deeper if those are the types of words you want to use, because I didn't get a picture from what you have written, just the impression you were whinging excessively and rhyming.
#5
Quote by MrGoodyear812
it did, and i tryied to use foo fighter's lyrics as a "reference" but it ended up to be very similer, see i want their influnece, but i dont wanna copy them


Explain "reference".
#6
Quote by Ninjamonkey767
Explain "reference".

like i see how they have verses and chorus structures and how they build up tension and such, im a very rational thinker so i analize the structure vs. the content anduse it kinda as a template
#7
Quote by Dreadknut
You shouldn't write lyrics to "match" the piece, the lyrics should be a separate entity. Then you can try to work what you want to say into your riffs, but sometimes you will have to change the riff if it does not suit.
Your lyrics rhyme too much and have no substance, it seems lyrically immature. You need to delve deeper if those are the types of words you want to use, because I didn't get a picture from what you have written, just the impression you were whinging excessively and rhyming.
DUDE I TOTALLY AGREE! i just am very immature in my lyrical writting life
i dunno what to do to get from crawling, to walking to running
#8
Quote by MrGoodyear812
DUDE I TOTALLY AGREE! i just am very immature in my lyrical writting life
i dunno what to do to get from crawling, to walking to running


Just like with anything, practice. Just keep writing and trying to expand your thoughts and vocabulary. Explore different writing styles and try using metaphors and such to try and get away from the basic style. You'll get better.
Your opinion is just that, YOUR opinion. It doesn't make you right. It doesn't make you better. It doesn't make you god. Everyone has their own view and that view is neither right or wrong.

Ignorance destroys music.
#9
Quote by scream_it
Just like with anything, practice. Just keep writing and trying to expand your thoughts and vocabulary. Explore different writing styles and try using metaphors and such to try and get away from the basic style. You'll get better.

Thanks a bunch mate! ima good like writer, but not to fly with poetry and lyrics, but ill get better, i practice as much as a i can
#10
Quote by MrGoodyear812
Thanks a bunch mate! ima good like writer, but not to fly with poetry and lyrics, but ill get better, i practice as much as a i can


No problem and if you ever need any help or advice feel free to message me.
Your opinion is just that, YOUR opinion. It doesn't make you right. It doesn't make you better. It doesn't make you god. Everyone has their own view and that view is neither right or wrong.

Ignorance destroys music.
#11
Quote by scream_it
No problem and if you ever need any help or advice feel free to message me.

thanks a bunch again (first friend in UG! haha)