Poll: Who will Win in a Fight?
Poll Options
View poll results: Who will Win in a Fight?
Chuck Norris
58 45%
Michael Jackson
11 9%
Freddy (from nighmare on elm st.)
3 2%
Jason (from friday the 13th)
3 2%
Michael Myers
2 2%
A COOKIE!!!
51 40%
Voters: 128.
Page 1 of 2
#1
Got any Chuck Norris Jokes you know of?

I dont care if its already made up or not just post it and see if we think its funny!

classic

theres nothing behind chuck norris's beard but another fist.


keep to UG rules
Please dont kill the thread

Rules only 2 Jokes per Post!

dont want peeps ruining it within 5min hope they get bored so it gives other a chance.
Quote by EndOfNothing656
Take out the locking nut on ur guitar man! That way u can tune whenever!

Quote by Karvid
Usernames are for the weak. I have never created a username in my life and I feel proud of that accomplishment.
#3
GTFO. Jesus titty ****ing christ... 08er... figures.
Don't try engaging me
The vaguest of shrugs
The prescription drugs
You'll never find
A person inside

Quote by saphrax
I agree with This End Up
#4
sept 08er.... wonder when the oct 08ers will arrive
Quote by the humanity
Captainjack666
the lord of sexyness...
#6
Reported, **** the 08 kids suck
Quote by SharpSpoon
I think I can safely say I would still bang her knowing this information.


Lmao ^

Grundy0 > Cancer!
#9
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

Haha this threads awsome :P
My Rig
Mesa Triple Rectifier Half Stack
Jackson USA King V 2
1988 American Made Strat
Epiphone Les Paul Custom w/Bigsby
Line 6 Spider III 75 Watt
#11
I think Roberto Luongo deserves a spot on the poll
My Rig
Mesa Triple Rectifier Half Stack
Jackson USA King V 2
1988 American Made Strat
Epiphone Les Paul Custom w/Bigsby
Line 6 Spider III 75 Watt
#12
Quote by CaptainJack666
sept 08er.... wonder when the oct 08ers will arrive

There are already a few. But that doesn't mean they instantly suck.
Quote by imthehitcher
you truly are a prince of men


Quote by isuckhardcore
I get naked FOR my dog.
#13
chuck norris trims his nose hairs with a chain saw and cuts his nails with a belt sander
#14
Quote by syk3d
There are already a few. But that doesn't mean they instantly suck.


tru, im oct 07, 1 day till my anni lol
Quote by the humanity
Captainjack666
the lord of sexyness...
#15
Wow, which century from the past did you just come from?

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#17
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants. Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands, now they are called the Islands. Did you hear Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer? Too bad he never cries.
Fear the Evil Chainsaw Wielding Penguin...
#20
Quote by soulflyV
How do you know when your thread sucks?

When its title starts with Chuck, and ends in Norris Jokes!

Was it you that made that Horatio Caine thing with the Chuck Norris joke?

That was a lame and vague way to put it, but hey.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#23
Whoever voted cookie is a TURD.
Quote by rich_sg
I've been here nearly 4 years now. I get no respect.

Quote by xCobainx
Respect in the pit?

Lol

Pink Floyd is The Best
#24
Quote by Zero-Hartman
Was it you that made that Horatio Caine thing with the Chuck Norris joke?

That was a lame and vague way to put it, but hey.


Nay, I had a skim through my Photobucket and the only Horatio Caine thing I did was a Bruce Dickinson one.

Looking back, it's still damn good.

/ego
#25
Quote by soulflyV
Nay, I had a skim through my Photobucket and the only Horatio Caine thing I did was a Bruce Dickinson one.

Looking back, it's still damn good.

/ego

Ahh yes, was just going through that thread now, that was legendary.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#27
Quote by schecter_r0cker
Reported, **** the 08 kids suck


That's not very nice.
Quote by Ed Hunter
I took out a fly with my jet of piss once. I felt like God!



“This is ridiculous; my job is to sit here and do this bloo-loo-loo-loo, bloo-loo-loo-loo” - Paul Gilbert on sweep picking.
#28
Chuck Norris was walking down the street one day when he got a boner....

There were no survivors.
return 0;

Quote by jsync
And I've eaten at some of Australia's best pizzerias.



SOUNDCLOUD
. com / fancy-elle
#29
Freddy would win, that's sure! Because he is the master of dreams and in my opinion also a cookie needs his beauty sleep!
#31
This has been done waaay too many times.

But, hey, every birthday Chuck Norris selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
My Last.fm
USA Fender Stratocaster | Roland Cube 60 | VOX ToneLab LE
#33
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When Chuck Norris get his tax form he merely takes a photo of himself crouching sends it back with the forms.
Chuck Norris has never paid tax.
Seagulls,the chicken of the ocean.

Originally posted by Gunpowder:
Everyone just jumps on the bandwagon and gives the same advice in these situations. You know what? I'm going to be different. Call the firemen.
#38
These normally tick me off, because it's so old, but ah well...

If you have five pounds, and Chuck Norris has five pounds, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.
There is poetry in despair.
#40
argh, chuck norris jokes are so old and not funny anymore.
Quote by FrenchyFungus


Awww, thanks Frenchy

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
I got a packet of Love Hearts when I was six and every one said 'You Have a Tiny Penis'




Hate humans? Click here
Page 1 of 2