#1
hey, this is just a poem about flowers i thought up just then any criticism is welcome.

Flowers.
In the sun you stand so bright and tall
The creatures adhere to your every beck and call
Your colors take the day away
I can only hope and wish that I could stay
To admire you each and every day
To write in the sun and to lay in the hay
To be one with you is a price I would pay
I want to know, what I cannot see
I want to scare away those crazy bees
How does your photosynthesis synthesize light into energy?
Can I hope to do something someday so legendary?
But alas you’re just a flower so dandy
I wonder if you taste like cotton candy?

thanks for reading!
#2
this is just a poem about flowers


It's hard to judge imagery in cases like this. You may do a fine job of describing the flower, but not of catching my interest. You talk about how the flowers are pretty, and you try to attatch an emotional connection to them, but it doesn't come across.

How does your photosynthesis synthesize light into energy?

Way way way too long, and difficult to read.

Also, using the same rhyme five times in the middle (six if you count internal rhymes) is too much.

My point in the end is, your execution was okay, but it wasn't pointed to any real objective. Is it about flowers? Because anyone can describe flowers. Or am I supposed to feel something? What emotional need do the flowers fill, or simulate, or relate to?
#3
Quote by Ninjamonkey767

Also, using the same rhyme five times in the middle (six if you count internal rhymes) is too much.

My point in the end is, your execution was okay, but it wasn't pointed to any real objective. Is it about flowers? Because anyone can describe flowers. Or am I supposed to feel something? What emotional need do the flowers fill, or simulate, or relate to?

thank you, i'll definitely keep this in mind for the future.