#1
Here's some lyrics I wrote. It sounds like grunge, Nirvana-ish. Needs Music, which I'll put in l8r.

Life_is bland
Too much_to demand
Death_ is in command
The World_is damned
Love_is blind
The thing_I'm denied
Drink_the time
What's left_is mine

States of the Mind_ruin your life
if you pay attention to them, then you win your knife
Use them to your advantage, you take them for granted
They'll be your death_Mental mess of antics

Fight_the hand
That brings_what you had
Test_the gland
That Makes_ your sand
Stuff_the lie
You're next_ stupefied
Think_Alibi
Excuse_undermined

States of the Mind_ruin your life
if you pay attention to them, then you win your knife
Use them to your advantage, you take them for granted
They'll be your death_Mental mess of antics

Night_will stand
Enough_to be planned
Lest_it can't
If it_were a plant
Above_the time
In this_goodbye
Now blink_and find
And please_rewind

States of the Mind_ruin your life
if you pay attention to them, then you win your knife
Use them to your advantage, you take them for granted
They'll be your death_Mental mess of antics

Bite_the fanned
Flame in_your rant
Height_the land
of feelin'_and
doves_will fly
Throughout_ the sky light
Speak_you're kind
Soothe me_keep the bind

States of the Mind_ruin your life
if you pay attention to them, then you win your knife
Use them to your advantage, you take them for granted
They'll be your death_Mental mess of antics
Antics crushing, antics flushing
Love gushing, into the rushing
wave of death in the ocean black
destroy it now warp it back
(4x)send it spiraling
The tide of conquering

send it spiraling
the tide of conquering
while I'm wallowing there_
life doesn't care

Bobtoast2

Buttery Goodness is all right here
#2
Pretty good. I can even hear Kurt Cobain's voice singing every line. The repitition in the rhyming is really good. If you'll do crit4crit, I have a song on the first page called Fight.