#1
Post your funniest or favorite bash.org or UG quotes! Been done before I would think, but there's got to be some new quotes by now

Here's my contribution:

<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse
<@cky> dipshit



here's one from UG

So I was sitting in "Nutrition for High Performance" (Read: Cooking) class. Our group was supposed to make apple muffins. This was our conversation:
Steve: Dude, I wish we could make chocolate muffins.
Dave: Oh dude, those would be so awesome
John: You know how to make them?
(I'm usually the quiet kid)
Me: You guys, all we need to do is replace the apple **** with a ****ing assload of chocolate sau-
I had noticed the classroom was silent before I said it. I said it anyway. I stopped mid statement because the teacher was right behind me. I looked back to her, looked back to my desk, and right when she was about to talk:
Me: So as I was saying before I was ****ing interrupted by this bitch, we just need some Hershey's ****, pour it all in the damn mix, and ****ing bake it.

I was a sophomore, and I couldn't make anyone laugh. I had a group of me and 3 seniors. They were busting out laughing.

I got detention.



I usually save the best ones in a word document in my computer for times when I really wanna lol. I have like a million more.

Edit: Another one I found haha

I'm really glad to know that you think the songwriting in a piece of mindless pop fluff is unskilled. Please give me further insight into the mysteries of the world such as, whether or not it's round and, What color orange juice is.

I'm going through my document now hehe

History teacher: I'm trying to decide whether to get a Mac or a Vaio, any advice?
Kid: McChicken.

Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

Last edited by shakin'cakes at Oct 4, 2008,
#3
Quote by Wicked_Bassist7
well, post them


The idea is for you to post a few as well.
Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

#5
Quote by shakin'cakes
The idea is for you to post a few as well.

what if we don't want to?
Living is easy with eyes closed...
--------------------------

Quote by GnR_ROK
I'm surprised you returned to this thread after cheeseman owned you.
#6
Thread: Romanian children who play video games for you? by GNR_Duff_Rules

Quote by GNR_Duff_Rules
Anyow one of those sites where you can hire poor third world children to play your online games and level up your characters? Or something like that...


I saw it on a show on G4 and I'm intreged...


I'd like to..uhhh... compare prices...


Quote by Ironman1478
i am romanian and am offended by that third world statement. most of the people in romania make americans look like autistic kids on ritalin(sp)


Quote by ProfessorJim
I am autistic and on ritalin and am offended by that statement. Most autistic kids on ritalin make americans look like romanians.
#7
Quote by cheeseman3001
what if we don't want to?


Then I'll hunt you down and rape your mother. It's a bit drastic, but you're asking for it
Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

#8
Quote by Godsmack_IV
Thread: Romanian children who play video games for you? by GNR_Duff_Rules


Those quotes made me
#9
Is bash.org up again?
*checks*
YAY bash is back!
I go there every now and then for teh lulz.
I laughed at the sin one you posted, I may post a few faves later.
EDIT: lol @ ritalin posts.
LOLEDIT: This guy and I have a plan to save the gene pool.
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Another:
<wolf> 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
<wolf> 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
<wolf> 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
<wolf> 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
<wolf> 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
<wolf> I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
<wolf> Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.
Yet another:
<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
Last edited by Nightfyre at Oct 4, 2008,
#11
(@Dreki) I just realized something.
(@Dreki) A is the 1st letter of the alphabet and H is the 8th letter, right?
(@Dreki) 9/11=0.8181818181=HAHAHAHA.
Quote by hostilekid
shadesofanger, you're my hero.


Quote by GoldenBlues
So I was wondering, are black people capable feeling love? I mean can their brains comprehend that kind of emotion, or are they not programmed that way.
#12
Quote by shadesofanger
(@Dreki) I just realized something.
(@Dreki) A is the 1st letter of the alphabet and H is the 8th letter, right?
(@Dreki) 9/11=0.8181818181=HAHAHAHA.


<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big f*ckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
The stupidity of man:
gentoogod: omg dude
gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today
siral21: what was it
gentoogod: ok before i say this
gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her
gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without
gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his
gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing
gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk
gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted
EDIT: damn you for getting be back onto bash!
<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
<Sabdo> and it typed out "France"
<Sabdo> we were like, wtf?
Last edited by Nightfyre at Oct 4, 2008,