#1
I don't got really much to say about this one, I'm still working on it but I just wanted to know what people thought.
Thanks - Austin.
c4c.


Lost in excitement
Killing and crashing spree's
Red Adrenaline surging
Blind drunk and violent needs

Disorientating sensation
collapsing in collision
door creaked right open
descending without permission

D.O.A.
Theirs nothing left to say
Other than another drunk driver
Next to the million others today.
Last edited by WarriorKlan at Oct 6, 2008,
#2
awesome title i must say
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Alternatively, have your friends hold him down, then take a dump in his mouth, make sure your genitals don't touch him though, that's gay.

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Teddy-Metal
for those who like to mosh, but just wanna cuddle afterwards

smashing pumkins fans=)^
#4
Yeah the poem itself was pretty good, but I must say it was the title the lured me in here

Nice 1
Write it down.
#5
haha, maybe I should make something better to go with the title then.
Thanks
#6
Maybe add some more stanzas ?
It has the potential to be a song....
I was thinking just this morning
"Hmmmm maybe I should write about Driving Under the Influence"

Sure enough I look on here and....
Write it down.
#7
Haha. Ok, cool, Thanks for the advice man.
-Austin


You got anything you want me to critique?