#1
this is the first song I've written in 2 months, so I'm a little shaky, thanks in advance.


So here we find our gazes locked
allowing to have our airflow blocked

but we won't say a thing

On the ledge we're both so steady
bodies firm, poised, braced and ready

Oh lucid dreams are so nice
but boredom comes so swift
and a fall is our device
unconsciousness begins to lift

(chorus)
timing is so critical
synchronization is now pivotal
Interlock both arms and lungs
never sever lips nor tongues
(/chorus)

So now our joint decision
we never needed a revision

No noose no need for sleeping pills
no dramatic wait on window sills

Just a faint smile as we stare
Lean in closer, hands lock in your hair
Slowly tilt to the side as our bodies clasp
from start to finish we won't even gasp

(chorus)
Smiling, we are never scared
never are morally impaired
interlock both arms and lungs
never sever lips nor tongues
(/chorus)

(bridge)
Pass each floor
like an elevator ride
don't even bother
to look inside

grasp my hand, cut off circulation
bring on the ecstasy of obliteration
(/bridge)

No serenade to finish on
seems to last all the way to dawn

be certain that we share a fate
the only thing I postulate

still interlocked on impact
dead before we could ever react
never again will I see your face
but nor will I see any other place
"I is another." - Rimbaud
#2
It's sad. It's good though; a bit of an original idea. How'd you come up with it?
If you'll do crit4crit, pick one from my sig.
#3
I don't really know, just kind made it up. ya I crit4crit, thanks for the review
"I is another." - Rimbaud
#4
It does touch the emotion, I especially like the bit "No noose no need for sleeping pills
no dramatic wait on window sills" first it confused me, then I realised you might be saying that theres no use killing yourself because your already dead inside? Was I close?

Cheers for commenting mine buddy!