#1
This is a month of experimentation, so expect to see very varied things from me. I'm trying for short and simple here.


On friday nights,
I go down to the quarry
throw some money into it
then I punch myself
in the stomach
and convince myself I love it.
I still can't tell
if I'm an idiot,
or just a masochist.
Last edited by rush4life at Oct 7, 2008,
#4
Not bad. I'm surprised someone besides me used the word masochistic... Good luck with the whole short-and-sweet thing this month, getting all of the things you make on here might be a bit of a challenge though. If you'll do crit4crit, it's in my sig.
#5
Thanks for the comments, all (I've fixed that line I think Zach...)

Just a note though, not everything this month will be short, I'm trying various styles.
#6
Good luck. I've personally been writing in different styles recently, trying to overcome my 2-month writers block, and it gives you opportunities that you wouldn't normally have.
#7
The thing that holds this back from being a wonderful little snippet is the fact that the ravine is such a loose term. To me it means this natural hillside ampitheatre on my campus that we have concerts at. I think a more "relatable" term could much better suit this piece, as you have so few lines and even one thing that takes the reader out of the piece ruins the read.

Everything else is very nice. I really like the ending now that you have that contrast.

Thanks for the comment on mine, good sir.