#1
This song is still unfinished but i would like some tips or suggestions if ya got any so yeah......its more of an acoustic guitar song that builds up near the end. i'm leanin more towards a pleading sorta feel at the end. anyways, here it is.


To my broken angel
you know your smile
Makes people wish you
Would stay awhile

My broken angel
Like that please stay
Without your wings to
Fly away

To my broken angel
I know it now
I know your secret
Don’t ask me how

My broken angel
Like that please stay
Without your wings to
Fly away

To my broken angel
I know you dream
Of endless heights and
Flightless clouds
Soaring high
above the ground
Oh broken angel
Remember me
Down on earth is
Where I’ll be

My broken angel
With that please stay
Leave your wings
Let’s walk away
#2
I think the repetitiveness of "my broken angel" can be used well, but I think you overused it a bit. Maybe it works forthe music, but it seems like a little much. I suggest using something like "O broken angel" or "My heavenly puzzle" (I cant think of a better synonym than puzzle right now, but something like that). I think the repetitive nature works well, though, and I'd just say to use less simple words. I like the concept though.

Crit please? Link is in my sig.