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#1
i lost my dad 5 years ago when i was eleven
and i miss him but i feel like i never knew him and i dont remember what he was like
it makes me feel depressed

i dont know how to be happt again what can get me out of this slum

(already smoked weed and drank and it only works while ure pissed or baked as and sometimes its worse while u are pissed or stoned)
#2
There's nothing to be done. Sorry, but its the truth. You are just gonna have to put it behind you and move on.
I want to go as far to the edge without going over. Out on the edge, you can see all kinds of different things.
#3
Real sorry to hear that champ. My advice will be that alcohol and weed will just make things worse.
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#4
Sorry to hear that, mate

Maybe you can ask a relative about what he was like?
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#5
Quote by chrismetal86
There's nothing to be done. Sorry, but its the truth. You are just gonna have to put it behind you and move on.


how can u move on from ure dad
he was who i looked up to most and now i can hardly remember what he looked like
#6
Quote by chrismetal86
There's nothing to be done. Sorry, but its the truth. You are just gonna have to put it behind you and move on.


how can u move on from ure dad
he was who i looked up to most and now i can hardly remember what he looked like
#8
Drinking never helps, for me anyway. It's just hard man, there's no easy way to deal with it, just try and move on and keep yourself busy and socially active, but it's not going to be easy and it never will be. Sorry I can't help you, but i'm sure no one can. Best of luck.
I'm the new king
I taste the queen
In here we are all anemic
In here, anemic and sweet
#9
Quote by Kensai
Sorry to hear that, mate

Maybe you can ask a relative about what he was like?


im not a sentimental person and i fidn it imossible to talk to any1 about feelings and all my relatives that were closest to my dad are all hardcore dudes
bikers and people like that
#10
Quote by cronik_desire
how can u move on from ure dad
he was who i looked up to most and now i can hardly remember what he looked like


I know its hard, but not letting it go will only make it harder on yourself. You CAN move on from this, its possible.
I want to go as far to the edge without going over. Out on the edge, you can see all kinds of different things.
#11
my girlfriend lost her dad when she was seven. apart from her mum and her sister, i'm the only one she talks to about it. find someone to be there for you, it really helps. if you can trust someone enough to talk about it you'll feel a lot better.

but yeah apart from that, there's not much you can do.

weed and alcohol won't help, only make tihngs worse as you become dependant on them.
#14
Quote by cronik_desire
im not a sentimental person and i fidn it imossible to talk to any1 about feelings and all my relatives that were closest to my dad are all hardcore dudes
bikers and people like that


I'm sure if you ask they'll tell you without thinking you're being "sentimental" or anything like that.

Or if they do, knee them in the crotch until they start talking.
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#15
Quote by cronik_desire
i lost my dad 5 years ago when i was eleven
and i miss him but i feel like i never knew him and i dont remember what he was like
it makes me feel depressed

i dont know how to be happt again what can get me out of this slum

(already smoked weed and drank and it only works while ure pissed or baked as and sometimes its worse while u are pissed or stoned)


Smoking and drinking doesn't help.

Really. You think it might help, but it's only a temporary remplacement.
#16
Quote by cronik_desire
thanx everone
i guess nobody can help me
i will have to deal with this myself

Well it's your dad, we can't do a lot for you except to tell you to move on. I know it's not easy (lost my dad when I was 6), but you'll have to do it if you don't want to still be crying about it in 20 years.
#17
Find some good music.

Take a long walk.

Spend some time imagining and thinking... how do you wish he would've been like? What do you remember from him?

Focus on what you can remember, build from there. Just reflect on the time you had together and try to bring some closure to the whole thing.
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#18
Try to be the best dad you can be.. it'll make you feel better believe me
but I suggest you wait with that


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#19
Watch video tapes where he is, pictures, friends ..

Wherever he is, he knows you miss him man. Find a hobby, something to distract you..

Sorry to hear that
#20
music helps the most. helps me to think the song that sum1 posted is mad

i dont know any1 that i can tell things to
its not like i confess myself to the internet
what said was the outline of what im going through but i cant really tell anyone
it sucks badly
#21
Quote by NOSPI
my girlfriend lost her dad when she was seven. apart from her mum and her sister, i'm the only one she talks to about it. find someone to be there for you, it really helps. if you can trust someone enough to talk about it you'll feel a lot better.

but yeah apart from that, there's not much you can do.

weed and alcohol won't help, only make tihngs worse as you become dependant on them.

this.
sorry for your loss.
#24
Quote by noxiosimitator
Try to be the best dad you can be.. it'll make you feel better believe me
but I suggest you wait with that

+1
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#25
I too lost my dad at that same age, 11. It's a very tough time of life for a kid to go through without one. I'm now 45 and it does get better, so you have that to rely on. What can help is an older brother or someone who is a dad that is willing to "take you under his wing" and give you guidance in the areas that you no doubt have questions and concerns. I've got 5 older brothers, so there was no lack of support for me. My problem was that they were usually too inaccessable to me. They had their own lives to lead, families of their own to contend with and so on. Drugs and alcohol is NOT the answer tho, as all it will lead to is other problems, some of which could be huge(like law trouble!). Even if you have a good friend to talk to it's better than trying to cope on your own. Mom's are ok for some things, but let's face it, they aren't men and just don't know how to deal the same.
Oh, and music. Music has the power to heal the soul and bring the mind, body and spirit into balance. In all things there must be balance. Find your balance and you will be just fine.
If you want to talk about issues bothering you or just to BS, feel free to PM me anytime. I'm on here daily.
Hope this helps, even a little. I know how it is.
#26
If you find it hard to talk to people about, then maybe just try writing down your thoughts somewhere, like journal or something. It needs to come out somehow and that's probably the easiest way to get it out.
As far as smoking pot and drinking goes, there is really nothing wrong with that, until it reaches a point where you use it to deal with issues. There is nothing wrong (imo) with recreational use, but do yourself a favour and don't medicate yourself with it when you feel bad - it's just a bad road to go down.
#27
bucker up and move on is the only way to go. I'm sorry for your loss, but there is simply nothing that can be done. You could talk to your other relatives though who knew him really well, learn about him, his childhood, early adulthood etc.
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#28
Quote by Demon Wolf
Find some good music.

Take a long walk.

Spend some time imagining and thinking... how do you wish he would've been like? What do you remember from him?

Focus on what you can remember, build from there. Just reflect on the time you had together and try to bring some closure to the whole thing.



This.

I also lost my dad when i was 11 and was in the same shoes as you not really knowing everything about him but still knowing who he was.

Its stuff like that that has helped me when iv been like you, also going out and socialing and playin guitar helps me too.

Im sorry for ya dude.
#30
are you close to your mum - if you are then I'd go to her for comfort - noone would really know more about him than her, and hey at the end of the day that's what mums are for.

sorry to hear it dude same thing happenned to my dad, his father died unexpectedly and he worked away a lot so he never really got to know him.

time will heal it mate, your at the age where your starting to discover yourself a bit more and getting more responsibility and i'd guess that's why your starting to miss him a lot as you need someone to look up to at that age - i know i did.

Stay off the booze and the weed cos that'll make things worse - hope things work out for you
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#31
The best way to deal with problems like this is to talk to someone. You might not know it now, but if you never get how you feel off your chest then you might be drinking and taking drugs for the rest of your life. Alcoholism ruins lives man.

Sorry about your dad, but seriously, have a good cry (everyone does it sometimes) and talk to your mum about it.
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#32
Quote by cronik_desire
how can u move on from ure dad
he was who i looked up to most and now i can hardly remember what he looked like


Believe it or not, everyone has to move on from their dad. I'm fortunate enough to still have a whole family, but there are many others who aren't. There are friends of mine who have no memories of their dad, or they have bad memories. One of them saw his dad die when he was hit by a shell in Lebanon when he was 7. But he moved on.
Smoking, drinking and getting shitfaced isn't going to help you. It's going to ruin the rest of your life if you keep going down that path.
There is plenty of music there to listen. You either need to hash things out with your family to put your mind at rest, or see a psychiatrist.
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Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#33
Quote by powerhead
If you find it hard to talk to people about, then maybe just try writing down your thoughts somewhere, like journal or something. It needs to come out somehow and that's probably the easiest way to get it out.
As far as smoking pot and drinking goes, there is really nothing wrong with that, until it reaches a point where you use it to deal with issues. There is nothing wrong (imo) with recreational use, but do yourself a favour and don't medicate yourself with it when you feel bad - it's just a bad road to go down.


thanx man

thanx everyone everything u have told me has helped me to mace decisions that i wuldnt have made without ure input
#35
Quote by chocolategod
go rape somebody

Even if this thread wasn't about a guy who has lost his father and is going through a really difficult time, how the **** could you possibly think that's funny? Pathetic little twat.
I'm the new king
I taste the queen
In here we are all anemic
In here, anemic and sweet
#36
If he didn't have Soul Stone on him then try one of your party members to ressurrect him.. If he was a shaman he could actually reincarnate himself obviously
#38
I lost my dad when I was 4 years old. I know how you feel. I've been through it. Ask your family about him, ask people he knew about him. Ask about his good qualities. They will tell you and even if you don't remember him from your own experience, you will know what kind of guy he was from people that knew him best.
#39
Quote by snowbert
If he didn't have Soul Stone on him then try one of your party members to ressurrect him.. If he was a shaman he could actually reincarnate himself obviously




possibly not the right place
and definately not funny anyway
idiot


but TS. If you talk to your family about it
or the hardcore dudes that were ur dads friends. ask em to tell ya some stories or summat bout him
they wont mind
im sure they miss him as well
#40
I'm sorry for you.

My cousin lost his dad (my dad's older brother) when he was young. I can't say I know how you feel, but my condolances go out to you and your family.

PS. My dad lost my uncle to a drunk driving accident about 17 years ago. My uncle was the one drunk. Don't turn to alcohol for comfort, you may do something you or those around you regret.

And I know it's hard, but you have to move on or it will make your life very hard. And I didn't know your father, but I don't think he would want you to hold yourself back because of circumstnces no-one could control.
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