#1
C4C

i thought i should prob tell you all what the song is about, i should have thought of doing it before.. better late then never i spose..
anyway, this song is all about the fact that every one is pretty much exactly the same, and wanting to be different and stand out. the line "its why death is all the rage" is about death being an escape from the repetitiveness of everyday life and everyday people, and is really the only way to escape it.
so this is basically a song about trying to escape from life and live your own way.

Cold and Lonely

This is a burden
Sitting in a cage, it's
why death is all the rage
and i'll never be lonely

This is a burden
Sitting in a cage, it's
why death is all the rage
and i'll never be lonely

hand me some bolt cutters
im getting outta here
nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
and its getting cold in here

sitting in my space
all alone, on my own
don't be afraid
don't be afraid
afraid x3

This is a burden
Sitting in a cage, it's
why death is all the rage
and i'll never be lonely

solo

This is a burden
Sitting in a cage, it's
why death is all the rage
and i'll never be lonely
Who decided that pie would be sold on Tuesday but not Wednesday?
Last edited by Dunjma at Oct 8, 2008,
#2
It's a good start, but there needs to be more. What you do have is really repeated alot. Those lines can stay, but there needs to be more. If you'll do crit4crit, pick one from my sig, preferably Circuit, but either is fine.
#3
There's a lot of repitition in your verses, and the song sounds kind of choppy what with all the line breaks.

The message in the song was ok, but the way it was presented wasn't quite on the mark for me.
PS: I think the best songs are ones that the authors let you wonder about their meanings, whether the message is obvious or not.
The arena is empty except for one man,
Still driving and striving as fast as he can.
The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,
And long ago somebody left with the cup,
But he's driving and striving and hugging the turns...
#4
Quote by Davus
PS: I think the best songs are ones that the authors let you wonder about their meanings, whether the message is obvious or not.

yea but i felt that i needed to explain the repetitiveness throughout the song..
anyway, thanks for the crit.
Who decided that pie would be sold on Tuesday but not Wednesday?
#5
Like Davus said I dont like the repeativeness in your song but besides that it was good it needs some work maybe needs to be made longer anyway if you dont mind criting mine the link is in the sig