#1
This is a Indie/Grunge/power pop Song, I guess i just wrote it about adolescent confusion.

The name is because this is the other side of the story, the antagonist, i guess my side of the song.
Ill post a MP3 Later.


The Other Side

Verse 1


The closer we get, the farther we are.

The harder i try... the more that there are...

Other things in the w---------ay

Or is it just what you say?


Chorus

Times are Changing
[Pause]
I guess im growing up

But is responsibility all there is to see?
[Pause]

My Brain is draining, into this sea of our loves, and our hopes, and our dreams.

I dont wanna be where they wanna b----------e....

Verse 2

You got that face on again

Like you know how insane i am

But is it all for you?

Or am i this confused?

Chorus

Lives are Changing
[Pause]
I Guess im giving up

But all i wanna be is another nobody
[pause]

I dont think that you could stop me.

So forget **** the police, or the academy, Theres nothing in this world that i wanna be.

.......Im all that there is to me!

Guitar Solo

Outro

"Call and Response"


Theres nothing else!
(But something else)
And all that you try!!!!
(We'll never make it By!!!!)


Fade out.
#2
The Other Side

Verse 1

The closer we get, the farther we are.
The harder i try... the more that there are...
Other things in the w---------ay
Or is it just what you say?
Sounds a bit cliche - but i can sympathize with it I would suggest trying to find more original metaphors, but if it's right for you it works for me - it's your song. What to you mean with "The harder i try... the more that there are"??

Chorus

Times are Changing
[Pause]
I guess im growing up
But is responsibility all there is to see?
[Pause]
My Brain is draining, into this sea of our loves, and our hopes, and our dreams.
I dont wanna be where they wanna b----------e....
The chorus adds change into the mix - nice to see that the character realises he is changing - and his perception with it.

Verse 2

You got that face on again
Like you know how insane i am
But is it all for you?
Or am i this confused?
This verse particularly struck me because i've been through this myself - the way you expressed it is interesting - the way that you state you're crazy but you're hiding it from the world.
Chorus

Lives are Changing
[Pause]
I Guess im giving up
But all i wanna be is another nobody
[pause]
I dont think that you could stop me.
So forget **** the police, or the academy, Theres nothing in this world that i wanna be.
.......Im all that there is to me!
****?? Curious as to what the asterisks mean - whatever word it is it seems to make grammatical sense without it... IMO the chorus should stay the same - but that might just be a pet peeve of mine - try and make a new verse out of the little snippets out of the end...

Guitar Solo

Outro

"Call and Response"
Is this supposed to be a phone ringing and someone picking up? If so i like the concept

There has to be something!
(Theres nothing else!)
And all that we could try!!!!
(We'll never make it
...Goodbye!!!!)
This part might be well done if you cut everything and just have it spoken between a man and a woman... I changed a bit of it so it matches for this.
Fade Out

All in all i think this is very Pop-Punk - needs a solid riff and rhythm behind it and some melodic singing over the top. I like the sentiments here, as i have been through very similar myself - even if it does seem to be a generic teenage thing (not saying that's bad!). Maybe some witty metaphors about your feelings and sight on this might help - maybe incorporate these into the new verses if you do them with the parts at the end of the chorus... All in all though a solid piece even if it does need a little work!
~Alex
Originally Posted by venom0014
yeaaaaa, i love you zenmaestro in a non gay way

^Of course Venom, everybody does.

Originally Posted by Will_Minus
This guy knows the score.

You see? Someone knows the score.
#3
Thanks, you'll be able to hear my guitar part and possibly the drums to it in a day or two, ill post a copy up, were recording this soon i believe. I know its a bit cliche, but with the way the guitar goes those words REALLY match up with it.

Just to give you a better idea, it has a lot of drawn out kind of stretched notes for the vocals, and the guitar is stop go strumming.

You'll hear on the music lol...

I like your idea for the call and response thing, but i meant in a musical way.

Like

i would sing
"There has to be something!"
and then my backup singer would do
"Theres nothing else!"
etc.

Thanks for critique ill try to find something snappier for the first verse.