this is my first bass riff ive actually put together i just want some input good or bad and if its that bad f you blood wanker

sorry don't have mic so tabs will have to do
standard tuning

Nothing special, it's good to write your own stuff though, keep it up but you'll probably laugh about the fact that you created a thread for this in the near future.
It's alright, dunno what genre of music it would work for though.
Schecter C-1 Hellraiser
Ibanez GRG170DX
Peavey Vypyr 75
Fender Princeton 650 DSP w/ Celestion 80w speaker