#1
Hi, Here is a song I wrote, If you comment on my Song, Ill comment on Yours (C4C)

All Constructive Critisism Welcome.

Edit: V2 Is now in the .zip Folder Below.
Attachments:
title project.zip
Originally Posted by cam_sampbell
What's the spoon position?



Well, you begin with a big wooden spoon and a jar of vaseline...
Last edited by ShredderA7X at Oct 11, 2008,
#2
Aye. Not going to say anything particular about the riffs, as they are pretty basic - but that's ok, especially when you're starting out it's important not to overstretch your actual playing/composing abilities, as it will almost always sound certifiedly unconvincing in GP. Not saying you shouldn't challenge yourself, but the real challenge in my opinion is creating a straight enjoyable piece of music, not about how many notes and twists you can cram into a dozen riffs. So I commend you for keeping it relatively straight, just in the solo I found that kinda slipping away, as it was too much directionless noodling for me.

But my real issue here is the drums. Dude, did you not include a snare on purpose or what ? Bold move if that's the case, but it fails. And that reflects back on the guitar riffs and robs them of any drive they might have had. Seriously, the rhythm is basically constant bassdrum, a few tomrolls here and there, and a closed hihat with a nonconstant pattern. It feels too random, straighten that out, and the song will improve 200%. From looking at what you composed you seem to have at least a decent handle on GP and arrangements, as there were no otherwise glaring faults that'd scream "Hay guyz this is my 1st song!!1!", so I can't understand why you messed up in the rhythm department so bad ?
General tips: Include a snaredrum. On every 2-4 beat for a standart straightforward rhythm, or on every 3 beat for a bigger halftime swagger, or for the faster parts on every other eightnote. Most of the riffs can be improved by shifting some of the accents more to offbeats and syncopes, so the riffs will drive and push more. I also didn't found a very convincing hookline, be it a melody to hang on to, or a riff that is harmonic/rhythmically interesting enough to serve as a focal point, if you focus on that more, the song may not drag so much
#3
All in all a very good song. I don't see real parts of improvment, perhaps changing the breakdown slightly rhythm-wise (maybe the drums?) but apart from that this is pretty good.
I really love the intro riff and main riff, they fit together so well with the intro just gliding into the main riff.
Verses work well with just a strong bass backing and an echoey effect on guitars, making it good for either quieter clean vocals or perhaps even spoken.
In my own opinion I see the solo fitting in very nicely with its straight eighth notes and the faster licks put in - basically its better than anything I could write (I'm not great at solo's but hopefully i'll get better by looking at others much like this)
Nice way of finishing with the intro riff again, I'd give the whole thing a 9/10.
#4
Thanks, V2 is now in the .Zip folder Above.
Originally Posted by cam_sampbell
What's the spoon position?



Well, you begin with a big wooden spoon and a jar of vaseline...
#5
Please I need more crit on my song I need to make it better,

Thanks
Originally Posted by cam_sampbell
What's the spoon position?



Well, you begin with a big wooden spoon and a jar of vaseline...