#1
Crit4Crit:

This is a song I'm in the process of putting lyrics to... the song is quite long (8:02 to be exact) but it is very solid and has good flow.

Never Again:

INTRO VERSE (0:45)

See the bodies on the field
Is this dream or is this real
Never will I see their face
Ever Again.

Gunfire breaks the veil
Bleeding out of wounds concealed
Never will I feel the pain
Never Again

Here I lay friends to rest
No more air escapes their chest.
Never will I see their face
Ever again.

All alone here I stand.
Coming closer to my end.
Never will I see her face.
Never again.

BRIDGE I (1:30)

Run away
I've done my duty,
all thats left is
tears and sorrow.

Died in vain
Never will I
see the
truth in her eyes.

Verse 1:

Your broken heart will never cease
never to love again.
Bleeding out in misery
Longing to see me again.

Never again you said to me
as I left that day.
Now all that remains is agony
And the bottom of this grave.

Solo 1

Verse 2:

Dark skys cover up
This never ending lie

Thats as far as I got, nitpicking and suggestions are more then welcome.
#2
I really like this song. I can feel a Metallica-esque progression in the background when I read it. Somthing like One. Keep working on it, it should really come out great.
#3
Ya the song is a bit like one, guy goes to war dies meanlessly, you know that type of stuff. The music is like if you mixed megadeth, metallica and A7X... the intro riff is very much inspired from Strength of the World by A7X, but my style comes out very soon. (some of the solos are crazy hard but I can master them with time, not like its buckethead or anything.) And thanks for the crit... I'll continue working on it later in the day.
#4
I think it may be a little too similar to Metallica's 'One.' Change this line a little in particular:
Is this dream or is this real (In 'One' - Can't tell if this is true or dream)

But otherwise it flows well and sounds good.

Here's mine: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=975223
"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, your eyes will get sore after a while."
#5
The lyrics by themselves do resemble one, but the music it is sang to changes that. If you would care to listen it can be found in my profile. (It's a midi though)

Never Again Music