Does anyone know where the oil filter and the oil drain plug is at on a 1999 mercury sable.

Thanks guys.
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underneath the car...right smack dab on the motor. the filter is usually in front of the motor, or on the passenger side of the motor...if you understand
How bout' no you crazy Dutch Bastard!

You live in the middle of nowhere? THEN BLOW **** UP!

Pretty Heavy and thick??...Sounds like a wasp fucking an Exhaust pipe...Its Rubbish!
It's on the bottom, around the middle, a li'l bit to the right side. Around under the driver's seat.
In bits in the middle of the dual-carrageway you were on an hour ago, which I suspect is what is causing your current problem.

Am I right?
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arnt scandinavians all albino or am i mistaken? apologies if i am

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logic is not always right
The drain plug is attached to the oil pan on the bottom of the engine and the oil filter shouldnt be too hard to spot.