#1
It's 1:40 in my neck of the woods and I can't sleep...

anone wanna tell me a nice lil bedtime story to help me sleep?

#3
Once upon a time there was a fuzzy little bear. It crawled in your bedroom window and raped you.

The end.

kill all humans
#4
Once there was a little pit-goer who didnt get to sleep.. I'm afraid i cant finish because my story involves Hannah Montana the lolwut pear and Pedobear.
#5
Quote by melton100
It's 1:40 in my neck of the woods and I can't sleep...

anone wanna tell me a nice lil bedtime story to help me sleep?



There is a ghost in the room you are in
It is watching you in silence
Waiting...
Waiting until you look into the reflection on your screen when you turn it off and then you will be raped

goodnight
Kerry King Of the Australia FTW! Club. PM Alter-Bridge or The_Random_Hero to join. Australians only

Quote by dehollister

and im 14 got any problems ill f*ckin drop you.


HE'LL DO IT

Quote by Kensai
Spooni_Shaq is the best UGer ever, period
#6
it says 1:38 in your post....LIAR!!!!! piss off...
Check my profile...
#8
There once was a man from nantucket,
Who kept all his swords in a bucket.
He started to spin
and exclaimed with a grin,
"When I let this thing go, you best duck it!"

'Night, 'night.
#9
Quote by AlmostLikeLife
There once was a man from nantucket,
Who kept all his swords in a bucket.
He started to spin
and exclaimed with a grin,
"When I let this thing go, you best duck it!"

'Night, 'night.


I like the other version better!
#12
There once was a man from nantucket........


He came to your house, fucked your mom, you were born and now you're making stupid threads.


Now go to sleep.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#13
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Arnold (I mean little in both senses). For a child of seven he had quite the impressive muscles. He worked out everyday to achieve his smoking physique (no, I'm not a paedophile).

On a chilly Friday morning Arnold awoke from his slumber and walked to the bathroom for his morning bath. Slowly pushing the door a few inches he noticed something red glimmering in the mirror. Arnold being the curious tyke that he is decided to push open the door fully revealing his mother in a prone position lying in a pool of her own crimson red blood. A loud scream exited his mouth as he ran over to try and recover his mother. "Mommy wake up, please wake up!" the sounds of her son's screams were doing nothing to the deceased corpse. He raped her body, the end.
#14
One night there was a little boy that went by melton100.
He couldn't sleep

Nighty night
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
the jonas brothers are sooo
█▄█ █▀█ ▀█▀
█▀█ █▄█ ♥█
☆┌─┐ ─┐☆
 │▒│ /▒/
 │▒│/▒/
 │▒ /▒/─┬─┐
 │▒│▒|▒│▒│
┌┴─┴─┐-┘─┘
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
 └┐▒▒▒▒┌┘ PEACE! LOVE! JONAS!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
#15
I'm sensing a reccuring theme of rape here
Kerry King Of the Australia FTW! Club. PM Alter-Bridge or The_Random_Hero to join. Australians only

Quote by dehollister

and im 14 got any problems ill f*ckin drop you.


HE'LL DO IT

Quote by Kensai
Spooni_Shaq is the best UGer ever, period
#16
Quote by Spooni_Shaq
I'm sensing a reccuring theme of rape here

Welcome to every thread in the Pit.
Quote by Ez0ph
That was a different Feb08er that threatened to suck you off
I remember that


Sadly, I was the threatened.
Quote by Firenze


Let it be known that I concur with everything this gentleman says, ever.



www.myspace.com/tarsusmusic
#17

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#19
One time long ago, in a galaxy far away was a boy named Luke. He desperately wanted to lose his status as a virgin but lived on a small droid farm with some mechanical cohorts and his Aunt and Uncle. One day he tried to have sex with one of his droids but received an electric shock. He decided this was not going to work so he snuck out one day to find a partner with which he could penetrate his penis. In the meantime he was knocked unconcious by some sand people and then awoke in an old mans home. To his dismay the sand people had not raped him and the old man refused to have sex and when Luke kept harassing him to allow it he responded with a Jedi mind trick. Luke left disgruntled and upset but when he arrived home again everything was burning and his Uncle and Aunt were dead. This was a great opportunity for Luke since now his Uncle would not beable to refuse his request. Luke dumped some cold water on the charred, disfigured, smoking corpse to cool it down to just the right temperature. He moved some tattered burnt clothing and poked his fingers around. He felt an oozy sensation and realised he had found the anus. Luke undid his trousers and inserted his manhood into his Uncle Owen. Between Lukes moans and the mushy gushy sounds of a phallus entering a dead mans anus, one of the droids stood silently about 20 feet away and muttered : "The master has found his path."
#20
Once upon a time this man named Mike and this man named Chester decided to start a band. Mike said "I love da raps cuz all the coo asian kids in agoura hills are into the hip hop".

Chester said "Well i love the rocks and da metals cuz i was born addicted to crack".

they didn't know how to play instruments so they got a friend named rob with poofy hair and headphones, who was like " I play da guitars, i got dis sick hello kitty squire and a line 6 spider, we can kick out some jams homies".

They then preceded to take over the world and get laid with terrible riffs and commercialized music.

This is the story of Linkin Park!

Fractal Axe-Fx Ultra
EBMM JP7 Dargies Delight II
Manuel Rodriguez C Cedar Top
#21
Well, one day, some young parents decided to go out for the night. They hired a babysitter to look after their little baby.

While they were at dinner, the mother got worried and called the babysitter to make sure they were ok. The babysitter just said, “Yeah, everything is fine. I’m just cooking dinner”. The mother hung up feeling better.

An hour later, the mother called again to check all was well. The babysitter said again, “It’s fine, I’m still doing dinner.”

The Mother called another hour later, and the babysitter said “I’m fine. I made you dinner.”

The mother felt bad that the babysitter had gone to all that trouble, so she and her husband went home. They noticed a strange, sweet smell when they entered the house. Curious, the mother went to the oven where the smell was coming from and opened it.

The babysitter had cooked the baby.

The end.
XIAOXI
Last edited by Abunai X at Oct 13, 2008,
#22
Quote by alaskan_ninja
Once upon a time there was a fuzzy little bear. It crawled in your bedroom window and raped you.

The end.


I LOL'D