#1
I need help meeting women. I have problems in ways of starting conversation. I'm okay once we start talking, but I don't know how to break the ice and introduce myself.

Usually, it's like

Hey, you wanna know something funny? The average person thinks about cookies 45 minutes of every day. *she laughs quizically* I'm Bob by the way (not real name).

and then I'll ask what kind of music she likes, what she does, what stuff she likes to do, etc.


I need conversation starters in other words, and maybe some places to meet women (other than bars, hang outs, parties, etc.)

Also I like girls in the medical field. They're so enthusiatic, or the ones I've met anyway.


So what are some tips/pointers, etc. ?
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#2
Quote by neptune1988
Hey, you wanna know something funny? The average person thinks about cookies 45 minutes of every day. *she laughs quizically* I'm Bob by the way (not real name).


Really?

I'm glad I'm not the girl you used that on.
#4
Go to womens rights rallies, that's where the hawt ****s hang out!


They will harm you mentally as well as physically.
#6
say this


how much does a polar bear weigh? less than your fat ass
*walks away*
Quote by Deliriumbassist
marmite, vegemite, termite...

anything that ends with -mite is the work of Satan's retarded cousin Vinnie.
#8
My favourite line is actually "Grab your coat I've got a knife".
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#12
Well if you're REALLY into girls in the medical field, I suppose you wouldn't be past injuring yourself to get with a hot nurse? The conversations practically start themselves, considering they are required to ask you what happened. Then you sway them with your story about fighting off ninjas ect...
I want to work in revelations, not just spin silly tales for money.I want to fish as deep down as possible into my own subconscious in the belief that once that far down, everyone will understand because they are the same that far down.
#13
Quote by imdeth
How much does a polar bear weigh? enough to break the ice, Hi I'm Scott


haha, i like that one
+1
#14
An Idiot's Guide to Meeting Women:

Step 1: Approach woman.
Step 2: Say something along the lines of "Hey, whats up?"
Step 3: Start a conversation based on her response.
Step 4: ??????
Step 5: Profit!


Edit: after reading the post under me and since I'm having a good day, I'll also suggest rape
Quote by RedDeath9
Divinecrossfire...

Epic post. Wish I could say more, but I don't know much about the subconscious and other psychological stuff.
#15
No one has suggested rape yet?? I'm perplexed. I must wait patiently for the rape.

I'm waiting for rape, that sound humorous.
#17
Quote by Kensai
My favourite line is actually "Grab your coat I've got a knife".



I dont get the joke.
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To all the men and women in uniform, thank you for serving our country.
We love you. God Bless.
#18
"Hey! I like your shirt!"

This works in all cases that said female is wearing a shirt with something on it (I'm not talking about barbeque sauce, I'm talking things like places, bands, sports teams, etc.).

9/10, she is wearing the shirt because she likes whatever is on it.

NOTE: IF YOU GO BY THIS, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT LOOK AT HER BOOBS. I KNOW IT IS HARD, BUT YOU MUST PERSEVERE.

If this would not apply, just say your name. That's it. Then proceed.
Quote by jetfuel495
that is one goddamn shiny mother****ing toaster you have there
Quote by Dog--
It seems the top of those waffles are burnt.
Quote by imdeth
The toast has little red arrows growing from it. Nobody wants that.

SHUDDUP AND EAT YER TOAST
#19
As her if she ever fingered A minor. That will start a vary "intelegent" disscusion.

I fail at spelling
Quote by Trefellin
Anyone with half a brain knows that Jesus is way more metal than Satan. Lucifer was the worlds very first emo.


Quote by glowinghamster4'

i just want to let you know that made my day.



Quote by Weaponized
Solid state master race
#20
Quote by neptune1988
I dont get the joke.

wats not to get?
Quote by Deliriumbassist
marmite, vegemite, termite...

anything that ends with -mite is the work of Satan's retarded cousin Vinnie.
#21
Quote by neptune1988
I dont get the joke.


Really? It's a spin on "grab your coat, you've pulled" kinda thing but ol' Kensai here changed it slightly to seem like a rapist. Ucwuthedidthar????

Edit: 21st post again! This is getting spooky.
#22
Quote by neptune1988
I dont get the joke.


Joke?
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#23
Guitar forums on the internet are the best place to meet women (and the best places to get advice about women) followed by chess club meets and ice cream socials.
#24
Quote by SenorSmiley
Guitar forums on the internet are the best place to meet women (and the best places to get advice about women) followed by chess club meets and ice cream socials.


I'm detecting slight sarcasm in this vicinity.
#25
Quote by ToastYerLicks

NOTE: IF YOU GO BY THIS, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT LOOK AT HER BOOBS. I KNOW IT IS HARD, BUT YOU MUST PERSEVERE.


Quote by Trefellin
Anyone with half a brain knows that Jesus is way more metal than Satan. Lucifer was the worlds very first emo.


Quote by glowinghamster4'

i just want to let you know that made my day.



Quote by Weaponized
Solid state master race
#27
Shit dude, I haven't done this in forever!

http://groups.ultimate-guitar.com/pua/

We can help, though our group is practically dead, but I think if we attract new people, we'll start helping again

Like for me, I'm tired of talking to women, I hate all women except for my girlfriend and I think that's a fact.

Anyways all you need is confidence dude, you can say some of the dumbest stuff ever and as long as you don't care, you can get somewhere with it

A simple "hello" works, but don't give them your name, let her ask, if she asks, then that's an IOI, *indicator of interest* it means she wants to know about you, eg you're interesting to her

umm some starters are like if you're somewhere like a coffee shop or something get her attention by like looking at her and or something and then pretend to draw (on a pad of paper) like a masterpeice or something, just make sure it looks like you're drawing really good or alot of something, so it grabs her attention and then take her a picture of a poorly drawn stick figure girl labeled "cute girl I met in blah blah blah year blah blah blah" whatever

Being funny is key. The things that were funny in third grade are funnier now than they were then

Also, sticking out from the crowd is really good, Girls think "I get hit on ten times a day, so what makes you different from anyone else I should consider you a boyfriend/playmate/whatever" so, dress different, dress outlandish, wear silly hats, and leather clothing, though make sure you don't over do, all you really need is one interesting thing about you that makes you stick out. Whether it be the color of your hair or a ring or a tatoo or a hat or something.

Working out and eating healthy are good things too, you can't be a slob if you want a good girl. Also work on your bad features too, like I said, if you're a bit chubby, work out, if you're losing your hair, go bald

I feel like I can't help you becuase like... I don't know, I haven't tried to help anyone so long or go macking on chicks that I don't think about it, and it's just become instinct, the way I act, so I can't explain it, but if you get the hang of it, it will become instinct

I'd be more than happy to talk to you if you respond with some specific stuff, I just feel so lost trying to explain this right now though, but I hope this kind of helps.
And we will weave in and out of sanity unnoticed
Swirling in blissfully restless visions of all our bleary progress
Glowing in radiant madness
#28
Quote by imdeth
I'm detecting slight sarcasm in this vicinity.


no way, although at a ice cream social some are kinda chubby
#29
Quote by imdeth
I'm detecting slight sarcasm in this vicinity.


The funny thing is that he has probably never BEEN to an ice cream social. Chicks dig sprinkles, hors d'oeuvres, and talking about landscaping. Sexy.
Quote by jetfuel495
that is one goddamn shiny mother****ing toaster you have there
Quote by Dog--
It seems the top of those waffles are burnt.
Quote by imdeth
The toast has little red arrows growing from it. Nobody wants that.

SHUDDUP AND EAT YER TOAST
#30
Quote by heaven's gate
Still?



surprisingly, yes. I have gotten over the fear and now have enough courage/confidence to talk to them without worrying about getting pepper-sprayed.


But the only thing I lack is the initiative. I just need ideas to start conversation.
::Support Our Troops::

To all the men and women in uniform, thank you for serving our country.
We love you. God Bless.
#31
Quote by imdeth
How much does a polar bear weigh? enough to break the ice, Hi I'm Scott

Things like that are always fun to say

What I hate though, are the kind of girls who won't play along or won't know what you're talking about.

It completely breaks the flow and renders everything awkward.
#32
Some good advice can come straight from Biggie Smalls, from his well know song Big Poppa
"Who they attractin with that line, "What's your name what's your sign"
Soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind
And ask what your interests are, who you be with
Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial "
Its as easy as that
#34
Quote by neptune1988
I have gotten over the fear and now have enough courage/confidence to talk to them without worrying about getting pepper-sprayed.


But the only thing I lack is the initiative. I just need ideas to start conversation.

Oh ok. All in good time.

Read TKDShorty's post. He put it pretty well.
#35
Quote by neptune1988
surprisingly, yes. I have gotten over the fear and now have enough courage/confidence to talk to them without worrying about getting pepper-sprayed.


But the only thing I lack is the initiative. I just need ideas to start conversation.


Wear the Tights of Courage. They give added resistance against pepper spray, but make you twice as weak against fire. And I highly doubt she'll have a flame thrower on her.
Quote by jetfuel495
that is one goddamn shiny mother****ing toaster you have there
Quote by Dog--
It seems the top of those waffles are burnt.
Quote by imdeth
The toast has little red arrows growing from it. Nobody wants that.

SHUDDUP AND EAT YER TOAST
#36
Quote by ToastYerLicks
The funny thing is that he has probably never BEEN to an ice cream social. Chicks dig sprinkles, hors d'oeuvres, and talking about landscaping. Sexy.



I went to one in highschool, freshman year. It was boring, to say the least. Bunch of low-life riff-raff. No offense to anyone that was there, seeing as I was there too.

^ I think I just incrimenated myself. LOL

The jewelry thing seems good way to stick out. I was actualy thinking about buying a Sailor's Cross as it is. I am a sailor, after all.

I also have a Boatswain's Pipe hanging in my room.

If you've ever seen a Sailor's Cross, you know those turn heads. Really quite exsquisite.
::Support Our Troops::

To all the men and women in uniform, thank you for serving our country.
We love you. God Bless.
#37
Quote by imdeth
How much does a polar bear weigh? enough to break the ice, Hi I'm Scott

that little brat Nick Hogan used that line. i feel nervous about all my convo starters, but i just hold my breath, jump in, and hope for the best and start talking anyway. usually works out all right.
edit: im not as good as MYSTERY though lulz.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

South Carolina Gamecocks

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#38
Some other ways to meet a hot girl:

1- Learn to speak Klingon
2- Buy a Gibson Les Paul
3- Grow a beard like Diamond Darrell
4- Get shorts that come down to your ankles.
#39
Quote by imdeth
How much does a polar bear weigh? enough to break the ice, Hi I'm Scott


haha great
i'll try that one
#40
Quote by heaven's gate
Oh ok. All in good time.

Read TKDShorty's post. He put it pretty well.



You two are the only ones that gave REAL advice. Others too, but from this I take y'all's advice most seriously.


Congratulations, you get a cookie. *standing ROTC joke*

"Now, Let us complete our business here."

"All hands!! Set sheets and swigging! Ready Main and Mizzen! Gun Crews, ready the Starboard Batteries!
'rouse the Captain, lay alongside the pistol-shot!! Boatswain, Beat-to-Quarters!!!"

"Side-boy, run up the colours!"
::Support Our Troops::

To all the men and women in uniform, thank you for serving our country.
We love you. God Bless.