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#1
I just saw this thread http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=942844 and I just remember some little jokes I had from ages ago about guitars.

Stratocaster
- I am like the village bicycle, everyones had a go with me
- I play nothing past 90s and I hate distortion

Les Paul
- I want to be Slash
- I am so rich I wipe my ass with money

SG
-I want to be Angus Young

Telecaster
- Can I twank your G-string please
-I don't need a locking nut, vibrato bar, three pickups, humbuckers, multiple tone and volume controls, or a 5 way pickup selector to be better than you.

BC Rich
- I am a poor decission maker
- I made a bad choice
- I make noise not music
- I'm a metal head, tis BROOTALZ

Double Neck
- I am making up for something

Ibanez Jem
- Lick my ass I play at 200bpm and sound like a MIDI generator
- Hey im a n00b luk at mi sweps

Warlock
- I Kill people

Accoustic
- I am trying to get laid

7 String
- I love dream theatre

8 String Ibanex
-Rock on Meshuggah

PRS
- Next I want a walnut table
- Your not a player unless you go to a golf club

Jackson DMG
- Lick my balls nubz

Reversed Flying V
- I'm blind

Epiphone
- I wish I had a Gibson

Kurt Cobain Signature Fender Jag
- I want to commit suciside

Gibsons
- All new music after 1960s sucks

Gibson Robot
- 10001110001 Will self destruct in 10...9...8...


Anyway enjoy and feel free to flame *rises flame shield* and add some to the list!!!! Let the wrath of UG unite in stereotypical guitar jokes!
Music is the holy grail, sod wine water and the blood of jesus
#4
ITT: Be ignorant about other guitar models and brands. Make tons of assumptions.
SAVE THE JAZZ

"Remember, there are two kinds of people in the world:
People who finish things, and"
#5
Les Paul.
I am very versatile.
I'm sexy.
I sound awesome.
I fucked your mother.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
Last edited by Oblivion_Rps at Oct 14, 2008,
#8
Epiphone
- I wish I had a Gibson

" Did You know, in Tibet, if they want something, do you know what they do? They give something away."

"Do they ? That must be why they're such a dominant global power."
#12
Musicman sterling: i like flea, but i still dont want to be him. i also like jazz basses, but not that much.
My red is so confident that he flashes trophies of war and
ribbons of euphoria
#13
squier strat - although Im shite - every1 thinks Im a fender so love me. Im the person you love to hate!!!
<--- This is Wally. Not Waldo.

Gear List:
Ibanez RG570
Fender MIA Strat (in black, HSS)
Godawful Marshall MG practice amp

My Youtube
My godawful blog
#15
my guitar in particular says that i'm a fat-ass... the relationship has been strained lately
Quote by Gibson_Rocker13
you are my new hero cause i do the exact same thing but i suck at it

#8 of the EHX USERS GUILD
Quote by SublimeGuitar
Orange Rocker 30. Best Marshall ever

epi firefly dsp 30, epi sg, big muff
olp five string, peavy max 158
#16
Warlock would probably just say "i need a haircut"
MY DESIGN/PHOTOGRAPHY TUMBLR
Quote by SEALSniper1152

If you take a jar, and whisper what you want to hate into it, then close the jar, coat it in crunchy peanut butter, and shove it up your ass. I'm pretty sure you could hate everything after that.
#17
Ibanez RG550 - I have no cred... yet I get more sex than any of you!!

I am the father of all the RGs!!!!
<--- This is Wally. Not Waldo.

Gear List:
Ibanez RG570
Fender MIA Strat (in black, HSS)
Godawful Marshall MG practice amp

My Youtube
My godawful blog
#21
bass: the only beautifull women I have on my arm is a tattoo


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#22
Fender TC-90:

Im not quite sure what I was made to do.
Quote by akack
We beat you 6-0 you stupid mother ****er.


"Nobody likes an unkempt shrubbery - The monty Python appreciation society"
#23
PRS - I have nice taste in guitars, just as i do in fashion, dining, women.... *Mine

Ibanez - I like things plain 'n' ordinary (excluding basses, i'm no hypocrite!)

BC Rich - Yeah dude, let's shred! .....dude? Where is everybody?

Fender - **** the man, man! You heard of that Timmy Hendrox? I LOVE him, especially his blue mist song. He played a Fender, yanoo?

Gibson - Daddy bought me my guitar. Look! Isn't it LOVELY? Just like my designer mansion!

Ibanez JEM 555 ..the porsche boxster of the guitar world - I couldn't afford the real thing...

Jem 777 - ****YEAHHH, i have skill AND taste!
#24
Dean- Look at me, I can play Pantera and Damageplan songs!
Feel free to add me on STEAM: thesystemhasfailed
XBL tag: cbiggs18
#26
Thunder Bird: Nikki Sixx will **** you up.
,___,
[O.o]
/)__)
-"--"-

,___,
[¬.¬]
/)__)
-"--"-



Quote by FishCream
Stop Performing Meathook Sodomy On Yourself
#27
Fender Jaguar - "What? The 90's are over?!"
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.
#29
Gibson Les Paul Studio (Worn Cherry) that I won of the Gibson Website-I am one lucky b******
My Setup:

Tokai LP Copy (Korean)
Peavey Classic 30
Ibanez TS-9 Tubescreamer
EHX USA Big Muff Pi
Aria 12-String Acoustic Guitar
#31
Daisy Rock Butterfly - I once raped 17,000 men, women, and children all at the same time.
#32
pretty cool ideas ill update list later when I have time, anyway keep em coming!
Music is the holy grail, sod wine water and the blood of jesus
#33
It says I'm a broke mother fucker.
"I am a remnant of the Forever Origin"

"The forest of October sleeps silent when I depart
The web of time hides my last trace
My blaze travel the last universe
Like the sights of magic
Wrapped in aeons
My mind is one with my soul"
#34
BC Rich Warlock NT5 bass
-I want to be ICS Vortex
-My low B makes you cum blood
-I have more stage presence than my vocalist and guitarists

*hides under a rock*
maybe if you had a
revolver
you'd
suck less

press
↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B Areceive bacon

Gamertag: Seanslaught
PSN: BeastlyBassist
Steam: Beastly396
#35
Hannah Monatanna/walmart-target guitar: I want my kid to be happy when in reality I'm just cursing him even more!

telecaster: UNIQUE! admit it, how many people do you see playing these awesome things anymore?

nylon string acoustic: flea markets ROCK!!!!

'Burst Gibson Les Paul: Whoo! I'm Slash!!!!

Ebony Black or cream White Les Paul: Rich Emo/pop rocker

stratocaster: any guitarist's first electric


My guitar: a Pile of shit has more monetary value than me
#37
Seriously, I want to punch people in the face when they claim I want to be anything like that hack Angus Young.

I want to be Frank Zappa, thank you.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
Last edited by Jack Off Jill at Oct 15, 2008,
#38
Austin 733 --- 200 bucks WITH an amp?! Sold.
Ibanez RGR 421 --- About 12 steps up from my Austin 733
I'm that dude with the fro.
Quote by angus fan16
Long story short, a whale flew out of the ocean, landed next to me and shot like a wall of water straight into my face.
#40
Any Black painted/coloured acoustic - look at me im different (and maybe emo...)
SATCH FTW!!!
NSW Group FTW!

There's nothing incredibly interesting here.
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