Page 1 of 4
#1
I know theres like a million but what are your favourite/funniest Family Guy Quotes.

Mine would be when Peter stops having sex with Lois and she gets fat:

Lois: Your one to talk, look at how fat you are!
Peter: Lois, men arent fat, only fat women are fat.
Quote by HuckIt
I met this chick I really liked and wanted to practice sex, so I practiced on some guy


Quote by MetalheadforJC

I herd rap mean Retraded Attemped at Poetry

#3
best scene, hands down, is when Stewie is singing in the old folks home. The song "There's a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea"

absolutely priceless
...because the last thing the world needs is another metal guitarist.

Me.

My band.

I like Fall Out Boy. I don't like you.
#5
Peter (naked, drunk, talking to his boss): Oh look, it's Mr. "I'm-too-good-to-come-to-your-little league games". Screw you! WHY D'YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE?!
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#8
Peter : Hey,hey now now it's nobody's fault that I'm fat. Meg.
Cette nuit j'ai rêvé que je mâchais ses yeux
Après avoir crevé par accès de furie
Ta replète panse d'helminthes blancs nourrie,
Trop prompte à déféquer le fruit d'un vit sanieux.
#9
Who is Adam We?

Maybe I'm Adam We?

NOBODY MESSES WITH ADAM WE!
Quote by Aussie_skater
everyone listen to PLOP he knows the way of the forum samurai

Quote by Seth Shadows
^PLOP = Best, username, ever.


REVOCATION FTW! 9/9/9
#10
peter: SEARCHBAR!!!!
stewie: LOL WUT?
Gear:
Fender Hot Rod Deville 2x12
Custom Built Guitar (made it myself)
PRS SE Soapbar II Maple
Fender Stratacoustic (Stolen! )
Digitech RP200
Boss MT-2
Roland Microcube
I like my stuff!
#12
Oh and when Peter is crying and the evil monkey does the pointing thing and Peter goes "STOP IT MEG!"

Or Adam West: *hears screaming outside* Oh you want a shouting match do you Quahog? ARGHHHHHHH ARGHHHHHHH ARGHHHHHH
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#13
(Neo-nazi conference)

Supremacist: First order of business. I'd like to thank Paul & Tracy who have agreed to bring cookies for next weeks punch social, uh just remember you two... Fred is allergic to peanuts. Peanuts and Jews. No but Jews are bad.
“Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are part of nature and therefore part of the mystery that we are trying to solve.”


-Max Planck

☮∞☯♥
#14
Lois: Would like a glass of lemonade?
Peter: No, I want I glass of better daughter! <Throws lemonade over Meg>
#15
Mayor bee
FEED ME MATHCORE

Quote by sashki

I also speak German, except no-one gives a shit.


GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE, AWAKE WHEN THE SUN HITS THE SKY
#16
You think THAT'S bad? What about the time when...
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#17
Boss:So,what do you see yourself doing in the future?
Peter: Don't say doin your wife,don't say doin your wife,don't say doin your wife*looks at picture of boss's son*Doing...your...son...
#19
Quote by ChucklesMginty
Peter: Quick to the peter copter/blimp/mobile.
On about the forth attempt of crashing into (I forgot his name XD)
Disabled Policeman: (writhing in pain) HOW CAN YOU AFFORD THOSE!!!???

Joe
“Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are part of nature and therefore part of the mystery that we are trying to solve.”


-Max Planck

☮∞☯♥
#20
Peter:Hey Chris,feel the water getting warm?

Chris:No,why?

Peter:Oh right.Thats pee that makes water warm.

/thread
Who Said Anything About A Signature ? ಠ_ಠ
#21
Anything with Adam West has me ROFL.
"I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just ask where they're going, and hook up with them later."
#22
meg...

who told you you could cmoe back in the house?


quagmire:
my fellow americans, i ahve not been entirely truthful, i did gagigity that girl. i gagigitied her gashmoigus with my gagungus, and for that i am sorry.

i have no idea how to spell wat quagmire says
#23
Brian: Peter....what the f**k are you doing??
Peter: Crack...

LMAO, i just think that ones freakin hilarious, but i was easily amused that day, but next to that one, is "Hey....your a big phoney...Hey everyone this guy is a big phoney. Yea that's what you are you phoney"
#24
peter:luis, im not coming home today, just gonna stay at work

luis: pete, the caller id says your calling form the kitchen, and I can see you

peter: can you see me now?

luis: no

peter: okkk now i'm at work

not sure about that first line
Quote by iantheman
I laughed at someone for breaking his g-string, and got sigged


Quote by Veil Of Osiris

You just made me spit out my Kool-Aid all over my keyboard.


sorry
#25
lois working in the garden "i dont know,but it keeps the black knight at bay"

all in court

"oh no"
"oh no"
oh no"
kool aid guy breaks in "ohhh yeahhh, oh sorry" walks back throught the hole
Just call me Julius, J, etc.
Taking an Internet break for a while, will come on when I can.
#26
Meg: *embarassed by Peter* Now I can never show my face in school again, I'll be a laughing stock.

Stewie: Yes Meg, this will truly damage your otherwise perfect reputation. Everything about your school career was going swimmingly up until this point, you were well-liked by everyone, but THIS will be the single thing that brings that all down upon you. You'd be really popular if it weren't for this event. I might kill you tonight.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#27
Young Peter: Woah ! Id like to play doctor with her !
" Did You know, in Tibet, if they want something, do you know what they do? They give something away."

"Do they ? That must be why they're such a dominant global power."
#28
Everyone: BRIANS THE NEW MEG, BRIANS THE NEW MEEEEEEG
Meg: Yeah Brian, your the new me!
Peter: Shut up Meg.
Quote by HuckIt
I met this chick I really liked and wanted to practice sex, so I practiced on some guy


Quote by MetalheadforJC

I herd rap mean Retraded Attemped at Poetry

#29
when their in a interrogation room "peter,we know u did it,now dont make us play good cop retarded cop on you"
a retard come in "we o ew vid itt" *all slured*
Just call me Julius, J, etc.
Taking an Internet break for a while, will come on when I can.
#31
I loved his tone of voice.
Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
#32
Lois: "Peter, whats wrong?"
Peter in a posh voice: "Quite frankly, lois, i find your meatloaf shallow and pendantic"
#34
Tom Tucker: And now Ollie, with today's weather report

Ollie: It'sgonrain!!

Tom: Thank you ollie
Honestly. Wtf?


Quote by Spay
I should've known...whenever a UGer thinks, it can be a terrible terrible thing


Quote by metaldud536
Fap to him fapping at horse porn? fap?
#35
Quote by monkeyman3dee
Tom Tucker: And now Ollie, with today's weather report

Ollie: It'sgonrain!!

Tom: Thank you ollie

one of my favorites.
#37
Quote by Gnomefry
I loved his tone of voice.
Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.


+ mothersleeping 1
Just call me Julius, J, etc.
Taking an Internet break for a while, will come on when I can.
#38
Peter: You Sir owe me one new hat.
,___,
[O.o]
/)__)
-"--"-

,___,
[¬.¬]
/)__)
-"--"-



Quote by FishCream
Stop Performing Meathook Sodomy On Yourself
#40
Quote by slaveofsatan
Peter: You Sir owe me one new hat.
I loved that part! (the hat as the paperweight). The ghostly gust of wind carries the hat out the window
“Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are part of nature and therefore part of the mystery that we are trying to solve.”


-Max Planck

☮∞☯♥
Page 1 of 4