#1
I've been listening to a friend of mine's band as of lately, and just saw one of their shows. Really inspired me to start writing guitar to my own lyrics, and try to get out there playing. This is a lot more, i don't know, catchier, or maybe happier than my last two pieces.

Mildew tooOnce again not to sure about this title

So, you’ve come back home
Like a cat, speedy, in a hurry
Slammed into the door
And you c- c- c- c- cut
Yourself in half
To spread the butter
You’d need a knife not as dull as you
Maybe even some suggestive lube
So then you could
Relax, relax

The length of life
Is not as long as my own pride
The way you move around on these tides
We are reaching, reaching for something!
Something better than dreams,
Where teeth could grind
Bite the hour glass
We are eating time,
And now we listen, listen
To the rain, on our Stonehenge

Mildew too,
Dressing our bare skin
We were out to long
Now the sun breathes new

From staying out all night
We counted stars
Among the infinite,
We were all lost
Let’s do it again

We are so god damn dirty,
So perfectly dirty
Maybe it’s me that’s dirty
As I watch you
Through the window


If you've read my previous two you can probably tell I took a different approach, less abstract lyrics, and hopefully the meaning is a bit more prominent .

Crit4crit as always.
this one is for you.
#2
I like em a lot. Lack of cliché and full of emotive an elaborate words. I really get a feel from this song just via the lyrics. I think its amazing, well written
#3
I wasnt keen on the first verse, it didnt hold me very well but the rest is fantastic.

Bite the hour glass
We are eating time

^ I love , its one of those things that you read and automatically wish you'd thought of it yourself!
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#4
I don't have much to say about in terms of a crit. I liked it. I liked the structure, nothing seemed forced and it just seemed like it would sing well. There were some good lines in there especially "eating time" as damn-right pointed out. That being said, I do not like the title and I don't really like the stanza that includes the phrase, but that could also be me not understanding it. The first two verses are fantastic though and I don't think I would change anything about them. Keep writing and good luck playing live! You definitely have a piece worth playing.