#1
Too scared to breathe
Faster truth
Drowning disease
The horse’s hoof
Holding down
The weight of this
Stampede (of emotion!)

And breakout from this wooden cage
And take out all this hidden rage
To stand out in a crowd

Bridges break
From the middle
And it all falls down
Around the sun set
A dying day
Rose red flames
Illuminate (this sea we drown!)

And breakout from this wooden cage
And take out all this hidden rage
To stand out in a crowd

No cure for this!
No answer to the question
This is just it
I beg redemption
Arrows burn the sky
Inject my heart with you poison
This is just it!

Tell me I don’t need to know
I still need to know
Tell me I don’t want to go
I want to go!
I want to go!
Home…

And breakout from this wooden cage
And take out all this hidden rage
To stand out in a crowd

Go home!
Go home!
Go home
#2
Wouldn't "You tore off my wings" make more sense?
"A sense of purpose overrides reason."- Terry Goodkind

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."-Jimi Hendrix


\,,/GETCHA PULL!!!\,,/
- the late and ever-loved "Dimebag" Darrell Lance Abbott
#3
i'd change that wooden cage bit... echoes Rusty Cage by soundgarden too much
*GAC*

if you don't like what i have to say-shove it
#4
Is it a metal song, cuz i see it like a Trivium song! Its great, but you need to work on the flow of it.
Myspace.

Quote by djmay71
it wasn't 7 days, it was 5.

and you call yourself the son of catholics

Quote by hugh20
I would keep it on my mantel piece and tell my grandchildren about the day I tried to overthrow the human race with my race of tree-men.
#5
Well its screamo I guess. Post-hardcore. Like FFAF with the music. I dunno. "Tore Off" sounded dirty and stupid, so "Tore Out" was a more powerful metaphor in my eyes. About being struck with a terminal disease and being ridden to a hospice.

BTW anyone have anything for me to comment on?
#6
I really like the Tore out, it sounds a bit more angry, like she really wanted to strike pain into you. Definitely keep that imho. But the thing i noticed right away is your use of rhyming. The general theme of the song and the use of things like Horse/stampede, etc. Was great! But try to stray away from basic rhyming like cage/rage.
But overall good stuff.
Thanks for your comment my piece as well!
this one is for you.