#1
(Plucking petals from a flower)

She loves me...she loves me not

SHE loves me...she loves me not

She LOVES me...she loves me not

She loves ME...she loves me not

SHE LOVES ME!

...

???

! ! !

SHE LOVES ME
NOT?!?!?!

...

(This flower must be broken)


No mindf*cks this time around.
c4c.
Last edited by Guns N Russians at Oct 15, 2008,
#2
Haha, that is officially the most random thing i have ever seen, yet somehow i love it. Bizarre, but not in a bad way. I started reading going "What the **** is this?" but the end just swept me off my feet. Well done with this whateverthehellitis
#3
hmm this didnt really do it for me, I've seen too many similiar things.
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f*ckin' mouth.” RIP
Http://www.Smash-it-up.tk
#5
You asked for my opinion on this, so here it is, in all its blunt glory:

This was single handedly the most disappointing thing I've ever read on these boards from someone who's writing I genuinely respect. This was grade school. This was, "my first attempt at being witty" type stuff. You are capable of shaking skies, breaking bones in thighs, and you went with something Ive seen done before. There was nothing about this that I liked. Gimmicks in capitalization, an air of pointlessness, cliche out the balls. I don't know man... this was just everything I hate in poetry.

I'll get to your other one too, probably tomorrow. I know this was probably just "for fun" but I'mma be honest anyways.

#6
yeah i figured this was crap. i regret that I even posted this drivel. can you do me a favor and just delete or close it?

but, at the same time, Malevich painted a black square and it was called art. it was called pure genius in its simplicity. it sold for millions.

maybe i need to become a poet lauriate before people see the "pure genius in it's simplicity" in this piece.

but until then, closey closey por favor.

(though i'm humbled that you respect my writing. thanks bro )