#1
These are taken from an e-mail I recieved, the subject being the title of this thread.


Can you cry under water?


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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?


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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


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What disease did cured ham actually have?


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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.


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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?


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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!


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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
THE WiLDHEARTS

Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
#3
Quote by caraluzzo
I wanna take a dump on your chest.


Thank you.

We can arrange a date and time later.
Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
THE WiLDHEARTS

Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
#7
There are some really stupid questions in that list. Seriously.
#8
Quote by SlipknotRule93
These are taken from an e-mail I recieved, the subject being the title of this thread.


Can you cry under water? < I've never tried

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? < I wasn't aware it was possible to be more than once. Are we talking reincarnation here?

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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? < Stupid Yanks always have to be bigger than everyone else.

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? < I intend to be buried naked.

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box? < have you ever tried eating a square pizza?

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What disease did cured ham actually have? < it was chicken

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? < luggage wasn't so heavy.

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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? < they like dead baby jokes

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? < yes

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? < TV is smaller, and easier to climb

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? < the idea is to look at things in the distance. Not point them straight down.

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway. < buttons are fiddly, and you don't need the distraction

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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? < because "pantie" sounds stupid

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? < for the people who aren't decent human beings

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? < to annoy people

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? < carpool? Cars can't swim.

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? < What's a Gilligan, and where can I find its Island?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs! < Pluto is an idiot

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? < it wasn't about food, it was about pride

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? < tears

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? < no, Stairway To Heaven came from morons

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? < yes

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt? < what about steroids?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? < he's hoping something will take his head off. You suck so much, even your dog wants to commit suicide.


There we go.
#9
Quote by freedoms_stain
I hate shit like this.

Vague ass connections that mean precisely nothing.

Kinda what I was going to say, only with less swear words.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#10
Of course you can cry underwater but if you do it no-one sees your tears only your face changing color due to lack of oxigen.
I just need about $3.50
(<X.X)O=('.'Q)

I'm the motherflippin'
#12
Quote by Dinkydaisy
Kinda what I was going to say, only with less swear words.
Ever since they uncensored shit I can't use it enough.

I'm trying to see if an apocalypse will happen like in South Park.
#13
not my questions, so...
Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
THE WiLDHEARTS

Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
#14
Quote by freedoms_stain
Ever since they uncensored shit I can't use it enough.

I'm trying to see if an apocalypse will happen like in South Park.

They've taken off the shitting censor?

Let's keep a tally.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#15
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Can you cry under water?

Yes.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

It's not to do with importance, it's to do with the reasons behind it.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Exchange rate means that cents aren't as valuable as pennies.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

How should I know?
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Cheaper to manufacture.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
What disease did cured ham actually have?

...
Quote by SlipknotRule93
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

People are stupid.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

Babies sleep a lot. Also, people are stupid.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Yes, because it's the rest of the court who's hearing stuff.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

I'm not.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

The view is better.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?


They're going to see you naked anyway.
So you can cling to the last shred of dignity.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

That's actually not a bad question.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Some people like the taste of cancer.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Possibly.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Uh, he's in the desert.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

No.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Yes.
Quote by SlipknotRule93
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

I've never been dumb enough to blow in a dog's face.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#16
^

well seeing as you're the only person to answer the questions sort of sensibly i giv u ma aids

Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
THE WiLDHEARTS

Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
#17
What happens when an immovable object is hit with an unstoppable force?
[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']^ This man knows everything.

Seriously, don't even try and question him, he'll rip your face off with his awesomeness alone.
Quote by Kumanji
@ yet another win post from Vince. Kudos to you, sir.
#18
Quote by Vince Noir
What happens when an immovable object is hit with an unstoppable force?


The unstoppable force sidesteps the immovable object, and they both apologise profusely for the collision, before the unstoppable force goes on its way.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#19
Quote by Vince Noir
What happens when an immovable object is hit with an unstoppable force?


An implosion most probably due to the pressure

I don't know I'm no good at Physics
Hull City A.F.C

Quote by Thrashtastic15
crunkym toy diuckl;ess ass ****igkjn ****** **** bitch ass pussy ****er douchecanoe ****** **** you s omn cnt you lieet le biutch
#20
The immovable object ain't gonna move. The force well is not going to be stopped. It will just continue to act on the object.

Problem solved.
Quote by blynd_snyper
yes we all need answers to xboys questions hurry up goddam it


Quote by Kankuro
Damn you X-Boy!!!


Founder And Member Of The " I Don't Masturbate Club "

TURNED 18 TODAY !!! (22/02)
#21
Quote by cam_sampbell
An implosion most probably due to the pressure

I don't know I'm no good at Physics


unless both objects are unbreakable, they break
#22
Quote by SlipknotRule93
These are taken from an e-mail I recieved, the subject being the title of this thread.


Can you cry under water?
Yes. But under water no one can see you cry or hear you scream.


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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Not sure. I'll probably experience one or the other. I don't really care what they call it.


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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
You're supposed to think twice before speaking. $.01 x 2 = $.02


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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Yes, but dry cleaning is free.
And if it's truly heaven, you won't be wearing clothes much of the time.


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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Because putting a square pizza in a round box would be much harder.

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What disease did cured ham actually have?
Phagophobia- the fear of being eaten.

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Traditionally we save the best for last.

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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
cuz they're peaceful when they do sleep.

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes. You can still hear them. Unless they're mute.

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Because it's cramped in a TV. Those things are small. Who'd want that?
Maybe with the new big-screens ...


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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
It saves wear and tear on your shoes, running down to get a closer look at each thing you spot. A bargain, really.

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.
It's the arousal factor.
Stripping is even more powerful than nakedness. All that anticipation.


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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
A bra has a singular function. Hold the twins up, proud.
Panties have dual functions. Modesty and edibility.


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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Because all humans are not decent.
You've heard of me. You should know this by now.


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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Because an intelligent song about not caring would have been too difficult to write.

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
Yes.

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Because he's an engineer, not a Bosun's mate.
He can fix a hole in a boat, but the Union won't allow it.
Ever had a Union grievance filed against you? Trust me, it's a royal pain.


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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!
Goofy doesn't appreciate all the sexy stuff you can do on all fours.
Why do you think they named him Goofy?


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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
The restaurant was out of Road Runner and he's a picky eater.

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
You do the math. But when you figure it out, tell no one.

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Yes. Morons don't get any. Morality is just sour grapes.

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Ask someone who isn't tone-deaf from listening to them.

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Because asteroid and assteriod would be too confusing. They're homophones.
Same with hemiroid and haemorrhoid.


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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
He's telling you to check your breath. Take the hint, dude.


*done*
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
Last edited by SomeoneYouKnew at Oct 15, 2008,
#23
Quote by Vince Noir
What happens when an immovable object is hit with an unstoppable force?

A building or a mountain are pretty much immovable, gravity is an unstoppable force. That's what happens, **** all.
Sig space available, give me some praise
#24
Can you cry under water?

why would you be under water if your sad

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

very

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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?


math sucks
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

probly not

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


causa it cost more to round the boxes
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
wtf is cured ham
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
causa we didn't use luggae till later

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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
becuse when babies are asleep there quite


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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
lameee


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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
causa taht would be a paradox


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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
causa it looks kewler higher up


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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

causa its polite

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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
its how they were named

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
i love burnt toast

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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
whos jimmy

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
wut

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
causa coconut radioes are easy to make

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!
lol you sayed erect

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
causa then we wouldn't have a show
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
baby jizz

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
no

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
kinda

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Quote by iantheman
I laughed at someone for breaking his g-string, and got sigged


Quote by Veil Of Osiris

You just made me spit out my Kool-Aid all over my keyboard.


sorry