#1
This is probably the first piece I've posted here in a year or so, so tell me what you think and I'll return the favor if you have anything to be critqued.
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What constanace!

A smile flexing; distorted, allowing security to pass.

These lips: unlatched..."Oh, what sharp teeth you have"...as they chew away at the bulk of time wasted, ripping out the hands of this antique Balken timepiece. Numbers lay as bones, discarded. When they suspend the ticking, there is no time to be wasted.

Intraocular: the clocktower, dismantled & destroyed

Intravenous: splinters of successive maple

Vestigial: unmoving memories
Nikolas
#2
What constanace!

A smile flexing; distorted, allowing security to pass.
I really like this line

These lips: unlatched..."Oh, what sharp teeth you have"...as they chew away at the bulk of time wasted, ripping out the hands of this antique Balken timepiece. Numbers lay as bones, discarded. When they suspend the ticking, there is no time to be wasted.
the reference to little red riding hood here is ingenious. it gives a great visual, of the symbolism of time chewing and ripping away at itself as it goes by. and how you emphasise not to waste time

Intraocular: the clocktower, dismantled & destroyed
last 3 lines are a great way to end. the reference to intraocular, how you can see the clock tower destroyed, probably signifing the wasted time

Intravenous: splinters of successive maple
this is probably not what you meant. but for some reason I pictured like the wasted time being intrabenously feed to the person as a punishment for wasting time and taking stuff for granted

Vestigial: unmoving memories
great line to end on, unmoving memories being vestigial. uneeded, and yet still there.

All in all, great stuff. your choice of words makes it that much better for those of us who can understand them. but could be a bit confusing for some people. ...all in all however, I love your symbolism and personification and metaphors. really deep stuff man
keep it up bro
#3
Thx for the crit btw....

Anyway, on the first line... what constanace? Im not sure if thats a word... are you trying to say what constancy or something like that?

Im not sure if you structured it wierdly or it should be read as it is...
I like the little reference to little red riding hood lol... I like your concept off timeline and i think the name is pretty cool... an apathetic timeline which is quite true...