I hope it's nice
Tony iommi inspired.zip
Chuck Schuldiner 1967-2001
Ronnie James Padavona 1942-2010
Darrell Lance Abbott 1966-2004
Jon Nödtveidt 1975-2006
Per Yngve Ohlin 1969-1991
Øystein Aarseth 1968-1993
Joe Ptaceck 1973-2010
Ace Börje Thomas Forsberg 1966-2004
that's great
Quote by thanksgiving
You facepalm like a pro... man I want you in bed.
As a big Sabbath/Iommi fan I had to check this out, of course.

To be quite honest, I didn't see much Iommi in here at all (notice, I'm criticizing the solo with regards to the comparison to Iommi, not on its own merits, which were decent enough, though not too engaging).

The backing carries a progression that we can recognize from several Sabbath songs, fair enough, but you could give the rhythm more sazz, seeing as how both Ward and Butler were capable musicians and able to fill up the low end with interesting twists and not just straightahead stomping (reserved that for the riffs that benefitted from such a more primitive approach).

The lead guitar had some rather arkward fingering suggestions, linear playing, where it would be more reasonable to use a position- based approach, especially as Iommi himself for most of his solos just needed one position, mainly Emin pentatonic (12th position ^^). The main features of his soloing style were, as I said the pentatonic position, his unique hummingbird vibrato (hard to replicate in GP), and probably most important in his pentatonic framework his reliance on legato runs/repeating-licks, from which he crafted (especially when you hear some later live solos) some blazing note flurrys, loaded with trillers (and some young Mr. Wylde clearly had been listening).
You did alright in that you incorporated some repeating motifs and played around abit with the melodic possibilities that can be stressed when juxtaposing the pentatonic lead with a harmonic minor backing progression, I just feel that whatever 'hits' occured were not -consciously- designed, and thus 'misses' were unavoidably abundant.
You will also learn a lot more, and surely get some new coherent soloing ideas when you try to build a song around that solo.

For study references I included the Sabbath Song "Dirty Women". Now, this may not be the most 'typical' Sab song (as contrary to popular belief they were a rather diverse band), but one that encapsulates some of the important trademarks of the sound to serve as a good enough singular reference point without going overboard. The solo is flanked by a moving minor melody (also, masterful carry by the bass). Notice in the main solo what particular notes are stressed, how they relate to the chords underneath and how they're connected with runs. Also a neat composational device to keep the listener engaged is the key change at the end, notice how the lead melody segues into that.
Black Sabbath - Dirty Women.zip