Page 1 of 2
#1
I HAVE a very unusual social problem. I am an 16-year-old guy and most people think I’m quiet and cool. I can sometimes be funny and talk a lot when I’m with my friends.

My problem is that I am shy around girls. That probably explains why I still don’t have a girlfriend. I always wonder how some of my friends hang out with so many girls – it’s like they are one of them. I know that people tend to be shy when they are with members of the opposite sex, especially if it is people that they like but I am not only shy, I blush whenever the girls I like sit beside me or talk to me.

I don’t know how to have a conversation with them. I think I am too self-conscious because I keep thinking that no girl will like me – I’m fat, ugly and every other negative thing you can think of.

i dont think this belongs in a relationship thread because the relationship didn't even start yet
#2
I was fat and ugly also, and I found out some girls liked me.

Try starting a light conversation with one, and it may turn bigger. It's better to try then to not try at all.
I NEED TO CHANGE MY USERNAME


  • Agile AL-3XXX Custom Tobacco Sunburst w/ EMG 57/66
  • ESP LTD EC-1000T CTM Black w/ Seymour Duncan Blackouts
  • Jet City JCA100HDM w/ Avatar Contemporary 2x12 Cab
  • Seymour Duncan 805 Overdrive
  • Dunlop OG Crybaby Wah
  • MXR Smartgate
#3
Really...Don't go looking for a girlfriend because you want one or everybody else has one, usually it will happen when it happens.
#4
Dude dont worry, Jason Mewes use to get no girls but i read that in one month later on in life he had sex with 30 chicks.

I'd recommend just trying to be friends, not close but just talk to them in school, and you will slowly gain more confidence. Or you could buy a ***** because once you get laid you wont have any problem with girls. (I made that last fact up)

Edit: And when i say he got no girls i mean he had your phobia. Didn't know how clear it was.
Last edited by masterohumans at Oct 16, 2008,
#5
first of all, you are neither fat nor ugly. once you get over that obstacle, try getting some girls just as friends who you can talk to, hang out with, etc. and then try and move on with relationships with girls. and then go to the relationship thread to see whether or not you're doing it wrong.
If man is 5, if man is 5, if man is 5,
then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, the Devil is 6,
And if the Devil is 6,

then God is 7, then God is 7, then God is 7
This monkey's gone to heaven.
#6
look on the bright side.

at least you aren't gonna be the dick head pussy-whipped friend that nobody likes.

just don't worry about it and play moar geetar
Nice beaver.


(. Y .) (. Y .)
#7
I'd say you do have a relationship with girls - you're extremely shy. You will get much better responses in the relationship thread regarding girl issues.
Quote by DrLoveFuzz
I'd rather listen to my parents having sex than LCD Soundsystem.
#8
be yourself, maybe you're the kinda guy who's lucky enough to become best friends with a chick and wind up marrying her.

for me, i have this problem because girls often don't take me seriously. i'm a decent looking guy but i'm comfortable with my sexuality and have an outgoing personality and have a slight lisp, so girls ALWAYS assume i'm gay.
#9
Oh man, I know what that was like. Don't worry though, you'll grow out of it sooner or later.
My advice would be to just talk to them as if they were your friends. (Just no penis jokes unless their into that sort of thing lol)
Feel free to add me on STEAM: thesystemhasfailed
XBL tag: cbiggs18
#10
im in a very similar situation. Ive never had a girlfriend let alone a friend that was a girl. But this year things are getting somewhat better.

Some girl even gave me her number this year, but when i ask her to hang out she blows me off why even give me the number?

Anyways things might get better, they might not. Social isolation can be crippling. It makes you so cynical its insane. I literally hate 90% of everything.
#11
its a pain to learn this way, but you have to practice on it, kinda force yourself to talk to them, sure you might turn some of them off at first, but your not gonna get better unless you keep on trying, try not to think to much about sex or a relationship when talking to them, just treat them like normal people
#12
well I personally would screw you
Quote by Sloopy
I'm not in a wheelchair, but I own one just for fun.
#14
Don't worry, it's not an unusual problem. Most guys feel like that at some point.

You're clearly sensitive, and a lot of girls like that in a guy. I know this is the most generic and overused advice out there, but just act like yourself. Don't worry what you look like. If it's a girl worth keeping, she'll care more about your personality than your looks anyway.

I used to be in the same boat as you. As soon as I started being a lot more outgoing and not being afraid to act like myself in front of everyone instead of just my friends, everything got a lot better.

Think of it this way: nobody cares if you embarrass yourself. Nobody cares if you tell a joke that no one laughs at. The important thing is that you're trying, and soon enough it'll just be natural. And hey, on the off chance that somebody does make fun of you, who cares? It's just another insecure dumbass looking for approval from his buddies.

/thread
#15
wow ya pretty much the EXACT same problem as you, pretty much I could throw out 100 negative adjectives about myself and most ofthem wont be true but i believe them because i have low self esteem. ive been told that im not fat, which i guess im not, but i dont believe it.

ive been told that once i get over the low self esteem hump, things will pick up, so just worry about yourself for now and try and feel good about yourself, and things will pick up

and try light convos with girls, thats all i have, and none of them hate me or anything, so its worth a shot.
#17
I have the same problem. Just be yourself.

You're gonna sound ridiculous when you first talk to them, but you'll get the hang of it; I did.
The best thing about life is knowing you put it together
#18
After a few girls tell you you're cute, you'll get over it.
Quote by Mudmen190
If loving ham makes me gay, I'm Rob Halford.


Quote by musiclover2399
MyNameIsLame just nailed it (actually both his statements did some nailing).


Quote by Oroborous
This is honestly the best first post I've ever seen


^^ Directed at me. E-peen wankery sigs ftw.

My Last.FM
#20
Quote by SlashYourFug
Don't worry, it's not an unusual problem. Most guys feel like that at some point.

You're clearly sensitive, and a lot of girls like that in a guy. I know this is the most generic and overused advice out there, but just act like yourself. Don't worry what you look like. If it's a girl worth keeping, she'll care more about your personality than your looks anyway.

I used to be in the same boat as you. As soon as I started being a lot more outgoing and not being afraid to act like myself in front of everyone instead of just my friends, everything got a lot better.

Think of it this way: nobody cares if you embarrass yourself. Nobody cares if you tell a joke that no one laughs at. The important thing is that you're trying, and soon enough it'll just be natural. And hey, on the off chance that somebody does make fun of you, who cares? It's just another insecure dumbass looking for approval from his buddies.

/thread


Indeed, /thread, very, very nice advice.
Quote by Le_Bunny
Money doesn't fuel good music. Passion does.

#21
Use pickup lines.

They work.
Quote by hostilekid
shadesofanger, you're my hero.


Quote by GoldenBlues
So I was wondering, are black people capable feeling love? I mean can their brains comprehend that kind of emotion, or are they not programmed that way.
#22
Sometimes it sucks being the nice guy because it might take a while to get a quality girlfriend. but the nice guys are the ones who get the great girls. jocks get cheerleaders, marry at 19 and have six kids. the once ever-popular cheerleader now looks fatter than most of the "uglies" from highschool

Quote by shadesofanger
Use pickup lines.

They work.


if your intent is to make them laugh, this actually does work. the only reason i'm friends with this one girl is because i made her laugh with "I'm not saying this to impress you, but I'm Batman."

it won't necessarily get you a girlfriend, but the more chicks you meet, the higher your odds, right?
Last edited by dudius at Oct 16, 2008,
#23
That's not an unusual problem. Quite common actually. I have the same exact problem.
But I guess once I get some self esteem it won't be so bad anymore.
#24
hey man don't worry everyone has the same problem or a similar one sooner or later.. for me it's different:

it's very easy for me to get the girl in find attractive but after a while i start to expect more of myself to have her completely laughing every minute that we spend time together .. which is quite impossible because no one can think of that many jokes at once without becoming boring

the problem is i know they absolutely adore me and I fascinate them.. i just lose confidence becasue somewhere in the back of my mind i feel the need to keep them laughing all the time.. i know i'm a really funny guy.. everyone says that but.. i just keep on making up problems for myself.. it really sucks balls..

p.s. you guys have any advice for me?
Quote by Hotpunksk8rgirl
EWWWWW!!!!! Isn't a urethra another word for a female body part(vagina)??????? Perverted fishy.
#25
Quote by dudius
Sometimes it sucks being the nice guy because it might take a while to get a quality girlfriend. but the nice guys are the ones who get the great girls. jocks get cheerleaders, marry at 19 and have six kids. the once ever-popular cheerleader now looks fatter than most of the "uglies" from highschool


if your intent is to make them laugh, this actually does work. the only reason i'm friends with this one girl is because i made her laugh with "I'm not saying this to impress you, but I'm Batman."

it won't necessarily get you a girlfriend, but the more chicks you meet, the higher your odds, right?


May I use this?
Quote by hostilekid
shadesofanger, you're my hero.


Quote by GoldenBlues
So I was wondering, are black people capable feeling love? I mean can their brains comprehend that kind of emotion, or are they not programmed that way.
#26
Quote by shadesofanger
May I use this?


i second that, that's freaking sweet.
The best thing about life is knowing you put it together
#27
Quote by Bronek
hey man don't worry everyone has the same problem or a similar one sooner or later.. for me it's different:

it's very easy for me to get the girl in find attractive but after a while i start to expect more of myself to have her completely laughing every minute that we spend time together .. which is quite impossible because no one can think of that many jokes at once without becoming boring

the problem is i know they absolutely adore me and I fascinate them.. i just lose confidence becasue somewhere in the back of my mind i feel the need to keep them laughing all the time.. i know i'm a really funny guy.. everyone says that but.. i just keep on making up problems for myself.. it really sucks balls..

p.s. you guys have any advice for me?


Try being serious every once and a while? Make the jokes valuable, instead of trying to saturate every minute with them. Try to start a normal conversation without trying to be a comedian 24/7.
#28
I think you just need to work on your self esteem, you are not going to get someone else to like you unless you like yourself first. You dont need to buy expensive clothes or loss weight or anything else, you just have to be happy with who you are. As soon as you are comfortable with who you are then you will be comfortable with who you are around other people. People can see when your self confident and when your not, so you need to try to work on not immediately being defensive or putting up walls or trying to be someone else when your around them. You honestly have to not care about anything or how anyone think of you and just be the same person you always are. I know it is easier said then done, just work on it.
#29
Quote by Maidenfan066
look on the bright side.

at least you aren't gonna be the dick head pussy-whipped friend that nobody likes.

just don't worry about it and play moar geetar



THIS!!!!!!!!! If you listen to Maidenfan you will succeed. Too bad you're guna think with your dick anyways.
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#30
Girls don't care how you look. They might not date you, but they won't judge you or ignore you because of that. Just try to intermingle with your friends when they are with girls and soon you'll be pimping around like a pro. Just be social and be yourself and have a good time.
#31
I know someone who used that batman thing (sort of) and it pretty much stole my girlfriend. "he was just soooo funny." Im not even kidding
Quote by St.Loony
Girls are complicated - Just turn gay and don't bother.


Quote by MightyAl
OK, so now, for Christmas, I'd like the ability to have an erection again.



Quote by smartguyreviews
one time i got up in the middle of the night to take a shit... and the toilet seat was warm....
#32
well, I'm 18 and still in the same boat, though I'm getting better with at least talking to them. Used to be I couldn't even talk around girls now at least I can keep up idle conversation and not blush and not be able to talk whenever one comes within 10 feet of me....

I've been taking extremely little steps for the past two years and I'm better now, my first step was to not give a fuck what they think and accept that they are just people too, not some mythical creature.

Once I kinda got past that I worked on at least talking a little bit, then I realized I couldn't look them in the eyes, so I worked on making myself actually look them in the eyes when talking to them. Just pay attention to what little things trip you up and make a effort too do better.


Of course I'm still awful though. The other night I stopped in a gas station to grab something to eat and there was this extremely good looking girl in there and she asked "You said you wanted two meat pies?" and her eyes caught mine, I mumbled a little "yea" which I don't think she heard and I was trapped in her gaze for the longest 4 seconds of my life. Then I kinda broke out of it, shook my head a little and said "yea, two meat pies." She just kinda smiled at me as though she knew what happened and was unusually nice and talkative to me when ringing me up.... but I couldn't make myself say anything other than mono-syllable words due to embarrassment.....
#33
Just pretend they have a bulge.

It's what I always do. And I love it.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#34
Quote by Acquiescence
I HAVE a very unusual social problem. I am an 16-year-old guy and most people think I’m quiet and cool. I can sometimes be funny and talk a lot when I’m with my friends.

My problem is that I am shy around girls. That probably explains why I still don’t have a girlfriend. I always wonder how some of my friends hang out with so many girls – it’s like they are one of them. I know that people tend to be shy when they are with members of the opposite sex, especially if it is people that they like but I am not only shy, I blush whenever the girls I like sit beside me or talk to me.

I don’t know how to have a conversation with them. I think I am too self-conscious because I keep thinking that no girl will like me – I’m fat, ugly and every other negative thing you can think of.

i dont think this belongs in a relationship thread because the relationship didn't even start yet

dude i'm the same way but more because all the girls in my city are ****in stoners sorry but i don't deal with that shit
#35
You, along with about 1\2 of the world's male population. Myself included.
Girls intimidate me. I know they're "just people," but still......
Schecter Tempest Custom
Squier Jagmaster
Epiphone Les Paul Jr. (Modified)
Crafter D-8

DOD FX50-B > EHX Little Big Muff > Digitech Whammy 4 >
Dunlop Cry Baby > Zoom G3 > Boss DD-7 > Digitech Digiverb

Orange OR-15
Marshall Valvestate VS100
#36
You need to discover a common interest or goal, such as reaching your pen on the floor by her desk, both of your goals are to get it back to you. So you break the ice by asking for your pencil, and then comment on a ring or a bracelet she has when she hands it back to you.
MaKing thE possiBlE...
...totaLlY impossible
#37
Dont try so hard... just act confident and put yourself in social situations where you will naturally be exposed to girls.. eventually something will happen.
#39
Smells like teen spirit in here.

Like your parents would presumably say, your life haven't even begun yet. Your time will come, don't worry.
Quote by Zangetsu 101
Rolling Stone is to the music industry what TheOnion.com is to news.

Ambivalence.
#40
If you fap too much, I think that can contribute to the problem. Maybe if you fantasize about people you know, you'll be uncomfortable with them.
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?
Page 1 of 2