#1
Hey all, C4C, What you crit mine like, I will crit yours. So if you want a detailed crit, please do the same.

Here it is.


```~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Verse 1.

The times have changed,
Our time has come,
To rule and hold this land.
Hope returns as the city burns,
No more will we kiss your gilded hand.

We are the fellowship,
born of greed, taking is half the fun
so run and hide, little child,
The hymn of misery has begun.


A Band of thieves,
We're Nomads lost.
Taking all with no cause,
So remove your chains, When you hear our reigns.
Chivalry and faith is lost.


Chorus.

You slave and starve,
our minds you carve,
to your ideals we live a tuned,

Free we are,
From your sabotage,
But peace shall sleep to soon.


Verse 2

Barons and Kings,
Such Foolish things,
Build kingdoms from pockets of those unseen.
Think again, when it begins, May God save the queen.


It's over now,
with your foolish scowl,
you swallow, accept you fate.
So, beg, repent
for the lives you've spent,
while you sit at heavens gate.


Verse 3

Battle is waged,
Fields are bathed,
with crimson rivers of lust

The age of baron,
The Days of king,
With a fickle silence we will sing


Our time has come,
the peasant scum,
Raise our fists in Valiant Triumph!

We will provide,
Hope and pride,
with bitter words pressed fourth.
No more we cry, As our leaders die.
The plot has run it's course.


Chorus.

You slave and starve,
our minds you carve,
to your ideals we live a tuned.

Free we are,
From your sabotage,
But peace shall sleep to soon.
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#2
Quote by Deluster
Hey all, C4C, What you crit mine like, I will crit yours. So if you want a detailed crit, please do the same.

Here it is.


```~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Verse 1.

The times have changed, ( A bit repetative. Maybe replace 'The times' with 'things'?)
Our time has come,
To rule and hold this land.
Hope returns as the city burns, (Nothing major, maybe 'Hope returns as cities burn?')
No more will we kiss your gilded hand. ( I like this line)

We are the fellowship,
born of greed, taking is half the fun (I feel like the flow would be awkward here)
so run and hide, little child,
The hymn of misery has begun. (I like this line very much)


A Band of thieves,
We're Nomads lost.
Taking all with no cause, (again, you mentioned taking before, try another word)
So remove your chains, When you hear our reigns.
Chivalry and faith is lost. (You like to end your verses with great lines huh?)


Chorus.

You slave and starve,
our minds you carve,
to your ideals we live a tuned, (This line is a little weak imho)

Free we are,
From your sabotage,
But peace shall sleep to soon. (the only thing I don't like is 'too')


Verse 2

Barons and Kings,
Such Foolish things,
Build kingdoms from pockets of those unseen.
Think again, when it begins, May God save the queen. (no problems here)


It's over now,
with your foolish scowl,
you swallow, accept you fate. (Just a flow issue methinks)
So, beg, repent
for the lives you've spent,
while you sit at heavens gate.


Verse 3

Battle is waged,
Fields are bathed,
with crimson rivers of lust

The age of baron,
The Days of king,
With a fickle silence we will sing (I think you should rhyme something with lust here. Maybe 'In a fickle silence we trust or something)


Our time has come,
the peasant scum,
Raise our fists in Valiant Triumph!

We will provide,
Hope and pride,
with bitter words pressed fourth.
No more we cry, As our leaders die.
The plot has run it's course.


Chorus.

You slave and starve,
our minds you carve,
to your ideals we live a tuned.

Free we are,
From your sabotage,
But peace shall sleep to soon.


Hello, Everything in brackets is what I have issues with. Awesome lyrics though.
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