#1
Welcome home,
Welcome home my friend
You've seen past the end of the road
Now tell me how it bends.

Time has wasted your features
Your eyes aren't quite as bright
But the wisdom of your travels shine
Shine with a darker light.

Sick world of corruption
filling hearts with hate
Ruining pristine flowers
Over harvesting is their fate

The time for war is over
The time for peace is gone
Our strip-mined brains can't take it
Now the species must move on

My story isn't pleasant
But what did you expect?
Truth is never happy
This is all thats left.



This is something I wrote a few months back but since I just joined this site, I decided I was curious about the UG community's opinions.

I have read the rules for this section and will be critiquing things right away.

Also, I'm not so sure of the title but its a nice basic one.

Thanks for everyone's time.
#2
hm but whats the part of You in the song?
ok your friend has made a trip or something like that and he told you about that... but why didn't You sing about this stuff? i think it would be more authentic.
#3
Welcome home,
Welcome home my friend
You've seen past the end of the road
Now tell me how it bends.

not special,nothing wrong

Time has wasted your features
Your eyes aren't quite as bright
But the wisdom of your travels shine
Shine with a darker light.

better.do i detect an influence of phillip larkin?

Sick world of corruption
filling hearts with hate
Ruining pristine flowers
Over harvesting is their fate

fate doesnt seem to make much sense here.maybe say'wastleland is all they create'

The time for war is over
The time for peace is gone
Our strip-mined brains can't take it
Now the species must move on

i like this bit

My story isn't pleasant
But what did you expect?
Truth is never happy
This is all thats left.

its good.maybe try using better images but theres nothing wrong with it



C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=980430
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial