#1
Sleep

The silent solace in the science of sleep seems so obscure
My screams of sorrow and fate make you sound so sure
And you say you’ll never forsake our love for anything dear
But you just turn your back and don’t even hear
The things I say
What I’ve changed
To insure that place in your heart
The place you own in mine


just a verse. what do you think?
Quote by AtThisVelocity
Metal_Hed_23, will you marry me?


Quote by drewfromutah
If she takes her pill properly and you still pill out or use a condom, just quit having sex altogether. The damn pill was built so that you can ride bareback and film your own creampie movies afterwards.
#2
I only have one problem with it. The first 2 lines have the repetion of "s" sounds WAY to many times . It's a tounge twister trying to say it all! If you could just re-write those two lines where they are easier to say (and sing), it would be much better. All in all, I like what you have going on.
#3
i like that. i think its attention getting
Quote by AtThisVelocity
Metal_Hed_23, will you marry me?


Quote by drewfromutah
If she takes her pill properly and you still pill out or use a condom, just quit having sex altogether. The damn pill was built so that you can ride bareback and film your own creampie movies afterwards.