#1
OK, I posted this wrong the first time so I made my corrections and I'm posting it again. So here it is. (It's not a hard rock song. It's a love song that has more of a 'Staind' feel to it.)


Verse 1:

It tears me up being without you,
It's all I can do not to fall apart.
But one day I hope I can show you,
The way that you have opened my heart.
Distance is only a measure,
When it feels like you stand by my side.
And time doesn't even matter,
When love is what keeps you alive.

Pre Corus 1:

So just wait right here, it won't be too long til I...

Corus 1:

Find a way, to be in your arms
I can not wait, to tell you how long that I've
Lived for this moment, with just me and you
When all of my dreams have finally come true.

Verse 2:

I need to know that I havn't wasted,
The time that I've spent lovin' you.
But I'll know that I wasn't deserted,
When I hear you say you love me too.

Pre Corus 1(same)

Corus 2:

Find a way, to be in your arms
I can not wait, to tell you how tlong that I've
Lived for this moment, with just me and you
When all of my dreams have finally come true,
When all of my dreams have finally come true.

Solo

Pre Corus 2:

There's no more tears, and no more fears,
Just wait right here, it won't be too long til I...

Corus 2 (same)

[End]
#2

It tears me up being without you,
It's all I can do not to fall apart.
But one day I hope I can show you,
The way that you have opened my heart.
Distance is only a measure,
When it feels like you stand by my side.
And time doesn't even matter,
When love is what keeps you alive.

not bad.theres some flow issues in the first 4 lines however

Pre Corus 1:

So just wait right here, it won't be too long til I...

Corus 1:

Find a way, to be in your arms
I can not wait, to tell you how long that I've
Lived for this moment, with just me and you
When all of my dreams have finally come true.

i dont like the rhyming and i would say cant instead of cannot to improve the flow

Verse 2:

I need to know that I havn't wasted,
The time that I've spent lovin' you.
But I'll know that I wasn't deserted,
When I hear you say you love me too.

nothing to say here apart from that it is a little generic

Pre Corus 1(same)

Corus 2:

Find a way, to be in your arms
I can not wait, to tell you how tlong that I've
Lived for this moment, with just me and you
When all of my dreams have finally come true,
When all of my dreams have finally come true.

Solo

Pre Corus 2:

There's no more tears, and no more fears,
Just wait right here, it won't be too long til I...


not bad,try improve the imagery and the flow

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=980430
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#3
Thanks for the input! It's only my first song so I'm still trying to learn how to write. I will work on it.